American musician and combat specialist, born in 1989 in West Reading, Pennsylvania. Her parents were both quite wealthy -- her father had made his fortune on the rhino-fighting circuit, while her mother was an extremely successful pirate and opera singer. Swift spent several years working on the family's Christmas tree farm; usually, these only make money in December, but Taylor was an expert on the hard sell, so they managed to sell Christmas trees all year long, including to people who didn't actually want Christmas trees.
But Swift didn't want to spend the rest of her life selling Christmas trees; she hoped to honor both of her parents by working in music and by beating the snot out of dumbasses, and she and her parents figured she could combine both interests through punk rock and, well, beating the snot out of dumbasses. She began spending summers at the family's vacation home in Stone Harbor, New Jersey, where Swift performed punk rock covers at a local
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