Ashley Pomeroy's New Writeups

Kodak DCS (thing)

2008-09-06T23:37:49Z

Introduction: "These are the Five Fates"
Today I am going to talk to you about Kodak's DCS range of vintage professional digital SLR cameras. Before I do so, I want to ask you a question. Which contains more thoughts; the head of a horse, or the Horsehead nebula? A horse's head is a relatively small object, packed densely with tissue and brain matter; the Horsehead nebula is an enormous, diffuse scattering of dust and electricity. The horse is an expert on grass and lady horses. The Horsehead nebula gazes into the depths of space. One day, far in the future, it is possible that horses might rule the world. Their Satan will resemble Zara Phillips; she will be their nightmare demon, a distant race memory from the beginning of their time.

But I digress. By the late 1980s, traditional photographic film was beginning to look old-hat, at least in the field of photojournalism. Television news crews had transitioned from film to videotape during the early 1980s, but…

The Carnegie Hall Concert: June 18, 1971 (essay)

2008-04-28T19:28:21Z

It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit liking the music of Carole King, for a man to admit owning a Carole King album that is not Tapestry. It takes a lot of courage. It takes balls of steel. Knives of shoes. Slow-faced blushmantle cadaver. I've said it before, but I'll say it again; computer love m'body.

Anyway, it takes a great deal of courage for a man to admit owning a copy of Carole King: The Carnegie Hall Concert: June 18, 1971. It's a live recording of a concert that took place in 1971, in June, on the eighteenth of June, except that the record didn't come out then, it came out in 1996, the year of insect husk, and this is the eaglesnap. I don't know why the world wanted this record in 1996. There must have been a shudder in society's cultural consciousness, an ache that could only be soothed by Carole King's fingers and throat, and her cackleberry continuum. I have long been worried that my writing, indeed my persona, comes across as stiff and artificial, whereas internally I…

Contax N Digital (thing)

2008-02-17T18:28:49Z

Today I would like to talk about the Contax N Digital. It is a digital SLR camera, an older model that was discontinued several years ago. It sold poorly. Today it has a cult, and that is why I would like to talk about it. There are lots of cult cameras, but there is only one cult digital SLR, and that is the Contax N Digital. The field of professional digital cameras is too small and too young to support a widespread cult movement. There are only a few families of modern-generation digital SLRs, and they are all technically competent, in some cases technically exceptional; they work, they are aimed at well-defined market sectors, and they do not have obvious flaws. The Contax N Digital, on the other hand, was a confused mess, a technically ambitious failure. I'll state up-front that I have never used or owned or touched or even seen an N Digital, I am basing this article entirely on the few things I have managed to find about the camera on the internet.

There was a time when all…

Eat to the Beat (idea)

2008-02-17T16:45:01Z

Introduction: The Mind Robber: Americans Sound like the People in Films
When I write, my mind becomes aflame with bursting tongues. And then there is the crash. I have started to think about Kenny Everett, the British DJ and comedian. In his final days Kenny Everett wished that he could be well again. He wished with all his heart. Nothing he did with his life warranted a death like that, if death was a punishment handed out by a judge. But death is not a punishment, it is an inevitability, and there is no judge. Everett's death was not a cosmic punishment, because the universe does not have a mind. It does not hear your wishes, and it did not hear his. It does not punish. There is no judge. You are free. Only your conscience holds you back. I am an only child, and consequently I do not have a conscience. I am free.

Kenny Everett's comedy has not aged well. His shows are not repeated on the television today, and young people probably do not know who he is. He is a relic of…

Imitations of an inappropriate reality (idea)

2007-11-04T22:08:55Z

Today I will share with you some thoughts that I have had. There is a theory that the human mind is not a machine for thinking, but that it is instead a device for receiving ideas that are broadcast throughout space. These ideas were generated during the moment of creation, and have radiated through the universe ever since then. They react with information stored in the human memory, rather like Alka-Seltzer dropped into a glass of water. The bubbles are thoughts. It is fortunate for the universe that I am alive to receive its ideas, and it is fortunate for you that I am able to convert a fraction of them into writing. Perhaps, if I could receive enough ideas, and concentrate them into a single thought, I could create a new universe of my own. A single giant big-bang bubble derived from a single thought. I realise that there is no hope for the future. No matter how hard I try to square the circle, I cannot find a way to rationalise my fate. I cannot find a way to reason with the cosmos. I do…

An infection vector for the perversion bacteria (essay)

2007-11-04T16:34:23Z

One of the registrars where I work - his name is Asif, and he is from India - has taken to using the word "prepone" when he means to say "bring forward".

No. I will rephrase that. He uses the word "prepone" when he means to say "prepone". If he had meant to say "bring forward", he would have said "bring forward". He means to say "prepone", and he damn well says it, he says the hell out of it, and he doesn't feel guilt or shame about it, he just does it. A long time ago I would have reacted to the word "prepone" in the same way that I react whenever a tramp wets himself in public, but I am a much wiser and more thoughtful man than I was.

For example, Asif might say "I have told the patient that he can prepone his appointment if the pain in his back deteriorates". This is a little white lie, because the patient cannot bring his appointment forward by himself. The GP can, on the patient's behalf, ask the consultant to bring the appointment forward, if both the GP and the…