"It takes people to win," says obscenely wealthy CEO

created by kessenich

(idea) by kessenich (3.1 y) (print) ? (I like it!) 1 C! Mon Mar 20 2000 at 10:02:28

"If we're going to meet our revenue, cost, and customer-satisfaction targets this year, we need a culture committed to winning. Achieving that takes more than just me. That's why I am instituting a PBC, or Pod Breeding Center, to flesh out our manager base. These new managers will:

Inspire a feeling of distaste, nay, outright disdain
Maintain their team's sense of general malaise
Promote inter-and intra-team hostility
Pass on vague and unrealistic performance measures from upper management every two weeks and hold the carrot of training over their noses until they meekly accept the fruitlessness of requests
Continually inject the employees with a potent serum of Thorazine and Xanax if they try to insinuate themselves into any process.

Indeed, meeting our performance goals is essential. But no less important is how we meet them. By focusing on our people, we can build a foundation for making me ludicrous sums of cash year after year."

printable version
chaos

Favorite Everything quotes	A message from your .com CEO	Trying to burn my aunt Margaret at the stake	What would happen if the Borg assimilated Linux?
Never drink or cook with hot tap water	Thorazine	Starbucks, monoculture, and American Imperialism	Mindless Self Indulgence
E2 Java Chatterbox Client	Xanax	Exploding Plastic Inevitable	Speeches and Debates
God is an abortionist	Management	You have won second prize in a beauty contest! Collect $10.	Pod
No Doubt	The American Dream	Dilbert	malaise
Svengalian	People's Republic of *	county borough	Ebb

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