10 Reasons Why I'm Not Single

created by wonko

(idea) by netlvrs_guy (5.6 y) (print) ? I like it! Fri Jan 26 2001 at 19:28:05

Note: many of these only work when you have the correct SO

I no longer hate myself and think that I am a TOTAL loser just partly.
Being a parent is easier.
You no longer HAVE to impress the other you want to.
Sex does not require dinner and a movie first.
Your dirty laundry on the floor now has other laundry to play with.
Knowing that when I make dinner and screw it up I'll still get lucky.
Back, foot, neck rubs... for free!
I'm more attractive to the opposite sex (by being a non-threat and also that I can keep a woman happy)
I'm not alone.
I don't have to wonder what my faults are... I'm told...

I've been married before to the wrong woman... although some of these things worked before they work much better in my current marriage.

(idea) by Rancid_Pickle (3.6 mon) (print) ? 1 C! I like it! Fri Jan 26 2001 at 19:51:09

I found a Perfect 10 and married her 14 years ago.
A daughter was born 13 years ago.
My second daughter was born 9 years ago.
My son was born 7 years ago.

Items 5 and up are all irrelevant when compared to the top four.

printable version
chaos

Platonic blowjob	Sex with my sister was always really, really good	zipless fuck	Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
Having someone wrapped around you, looking into your eyes, inches away from your face, smiling the cutest smile in the world and giving you quick little kisses on the nose is the greatest feeling anywhere ever	Sounds of Sex	The Joy of Pair Bonding: Get Good At Sex	Why I hate being single
platonic making out	As seen mouthed through one half inch of safety glass as the bus pulled away from the terminal and left a westward wafting cloud of exhaust	Lamenting over past "whatevers"	Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck
plutonic backrub	Feedback during sex is good	Carpal Tunnel Syndrome	The Marriage of Pingouin and Knifegirl
My eyes change color when I kiss someone	How to give your man a good backrub	The Theory of Evolution is not a valid theory	Monotonously incessant self debasement is spiritually malignant
You're not from around here, are you?	Blowing your nose is the greatest feeling in the world	So	100 Worst Britons

No more writeups are being accepted for this node. We've already got 24 reasons here and that's plenty. If you feel you have something to add to this node, post it on your Scratch Pad and contact an editor.

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