A Perverse Test

1: Do you think that one person having sex (attempting orgasm) with a vegetable (pumpkin, carrot, cucumber, squash) is perverse? (Not used as a sex toy between two persons, but one person with a vegetable.)

• Yes. The society I have been brought up in makes me see things only one way.
• No, go to town on a vegetable. As long as it is personal and private.
• Of course not. Let us enjoy the fruits of the earth however we can.
• I do not think it is perverse. Personally, I would not enjoy such a thing or hearing about it. If someone wants to fuck a vegetable, they should really keep it to themselves.
• It is not perverted, as long as those bastards at McDonald's don't put it in my hamburger afterwards.

• Most fruits would be alright, but a fruit salad would be disgusting.
• No, but vegetables would be better (less sugar).
• No. Why not? Fruit club rules!

• Has the animal consented to this?
• I believe it is perverse to have sex with animals. Did you see Animal Farm? That chicken exploded, man, and that's just nasty.
• Look it, if your cat's in heat and won't shut up and you just want to get some sleep, sometimes it's convenient to just take a Q tip and some Vaseline and just help her out a little.
• Not perverse, as long as the pet doesn't get pregnant. I ain't paying no child support for no budgie.

• My family has a tradition where we gather around the living room and attempt to get Sparky to have sex with the goldfish.
• Watching a bull have sexual relations with a cow or any two large animals is too humorous to turn away from. A friend's cat used to hump a feather duster; this too was hysterical.
• No, it's funny. It's nature. No one gets hurt.
• Well, on the farm....
• Yes, you are just getting your thrills from your dog, Spunky, and his girlfriend; that is sick.

• Yes. What the hell! Why would an animal want to do this?
• No. But is it possible?
• Impossible scenario.
• I don't think the cat-fish scenario is possible.
• Thanks! Up until now pumpkin pie was my favourite dessert. Imagine thinking about what someone might have done to the filling!
• Some of my favourite films are based on this subject.

• No, my uncle Hector was the most perverted man that ever lived, but I think he had genuine feelings for those tadpoles.
• The man presents a good argument for abortion. I would be curious about his childhood.
• It's not perverted. All the young girl's parts are in working order. It's merely a difference in taste.
• The Marquis de Sade was God.
• No. He just had the balls to write down what he thought.

• No, if that's what does it for you, go nuts.
• Absolutely disgusting!
• No. One might want to look at the intention, though; if someone limits himself or herself out of fear or neurosis, this is not healthy; but if it is out of careful and self-aware selection, what is wrong with that?
• No, but it is perverse to think about missionaries when you are having sex.

What I want to know is, does that mean no one's a pervert, or we're all perverts?