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An Ape About the House

created by 256

(thing) by 256 (2.3 wk) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Sun Apr 07 2002 at 9:38:44

A short story written in 1962 by Arthur C. Clarke.

The protagonist is a housewife, married to an astronaut who spends most of his time in space. As the tale begins, a new member of the household is arriving. Dorcas is a Superchimp (Registered Trademark) Pan Sapiens, specially bred and genetically modified for docility, trained for Class A Domestic work and Nursery Duties, and able to speak fifty words, understanding two hundred.

Dorcas soon settles in, as soon as she learns to stop picking things up in her feet. But all is not well. Our protagonist's nemesis Christine, a socialite by virtue of being married to the Commodore of the Space Service, has become an "artist". All that need be said about her "art" is that if Christine had been married to anybody less important than the Commodore the alleged "art" would have been met with hoots of derision. The protagonist is particularly miffed about this, since she spent several years at art college. She hatches a cunning plan to totally discredit Christine as an artist.

She plans to teach Dorcas to paint and then release Dorcas' pictures to make Christine's "art" look bad (worse). However, Dorcas cannot seem to decide which hand to use to paint with, and eventually our protagonist decides that she will do most of the painting, with touches added by Dorcas. There will be no need to mention, she decides, to tell anyone they are not strictly all Dorcas' own work.

The Dorcas/protagonist pictures are a hit, and Christine is suitably abashed. However, Christine makes a surprise visit to the house while our protagonist is out. By the time she returns, Christine has sneaked into Dorcas' garage studio. The protagonist thinks that the game is up, but is surprised to find that Dorcas is hard at work on a rather amusing caricature.

Even before the art critics of the world descend upon Dorcas, our protagonist realises that Dorcas has more talent in either of her skilful feet than in both of her hands.


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