April 24, 2000

I was at my elementary school, a place I haven't been since I was a kid. I stopped to take a piss near the swings along the back fence.

Suddenly I got the distinct impression that there was a child on the swings, laughing silently. The mental image was strong and sudden.

I zipped up and turned around, to see an empty swingset and a shooting star that appeared at that exact moment, one of those long, slow fireballs that creates a golden trail of light. It lasted for a good two seconds.

I stood there, with my mouth open, for a long time.

Welcome to Earth, whoever you are. :)

1. That's a pisspoor way to welcome the man who just liberated quebec!
2. At the hospital: everything felt ginger and squeamy, in the room with the newborn and the mom and the girlfriend and the husband. The newborn baby, not yet 24 hours out of the womb, already had fingernails. She was so tiny! But bigger than I would want to give birth to.
3. The breath machine that NewMom was to use: a little inhaler contraption that measured the force of her inhalation and the volume. I thot, wow. If I designed that, it would have a little racecourse for the plastic bit to get around, it would be a toy as well as therapy. Hmmm. I want to do that.
4. Crying on the way home from the hospital the day before the birth. Something in the combination of impending birth, impending doom (from an overdue software project), and the hot burning mouth from the Cajun burrito. Physical pain releases mental pain. Strange. Been seeing this a lot lately. Every time I do yoga, I get depressed for a few days. Stored pain from the accident.
   
   This all seems like a dream report, but it's a reality dream.

in our last episode... | p_i-logs | and then, all of a sudden...

I pulled this meeting together, it's a new committee, i'm supposed to lead it. But i'm so easily distracted. Today the issue of ArtByte came in and of course i had to read it, stem to stern, to try to imagine how i could fit in - and then i had to compose my response to Beth, and send it, hoping that she'll still want me to write for the magazine, even though i'm not really all that cool. And then, to clear my mind, i go for a walk. Maybe on my way home I'll pick up some beer. Tonight could be nice.

I'm all the way over on Smith campus, walking and singing, when i remember the meeting which started 10 minutes before. I try calling home but I bet Dan's online. I know the office where we're meeting is somewhere on Gothic Street, which is between here and home, so i run up and down looking for clues. Even though i'm not prepared for the meeting. I try calling home again. I run home & boot Dan off the computer (it's mine, i can do that).

By this time, it's quarter to nine. But they're still there when Deb answers, and puts me on speakerphone to try to come up with a plan of action. I hate speakerphone, by the way, so if i call you, don't do this to me. But this time, i deserve it, and go along. Everybody, as is status quo, is going in several different directions.. i have to try to make it cohere.

So, ok, at least now i'll go get that beer. Pop's (feeling down? come to Pop's) is just down the street.

On my way back, there's someone coming the other way. It.. IS.. that guy. that one who i've seen, let's see:

1. at Stop & Shop, that once. He and his friend were buying cheese. i wondered if he lived around here, or was just passing through. but how many just-visitors buy a block of cheese?
2. walking down the street with a video in his hand, snapping the other. he didn't see me that time. but he goes to the same video store! and he lives not too far away.
3. on tax day at the post office. he's in line, six or seven people away from me. i want to jump on him and say, do you realize what you're doing to me when you look at me? you're giving me chills! who gave you that right?
4. fifteen minutes later, he and his friend are walking down market street behind me. i resist the urge to stop, and when i turn around they're gone.

He looks like a cross betwen John Lennon and Gary Oldman, only younger (oh, and alive, and American). He's got this fantastic mouth.