mmmm.. good lunch, back to noding.
Things to do today:
I also need a new keyboard cause I busted the spacebar on this one, so if you got an extra, ship it to me.
He said at dinner one night that he never could let me be real to him, not to his friends, or to himself. I sighed inside, always on edge that something I admit would somehow be enough to scare him off, make him not like me anymore. But, then he starts admitting things.
By the end of the first full day of his visit the day after I picked him up at the airport, he had told me he wanted us to date long distance through the summer. I knew that that meant something significant, that I was special. But it's a considerable distance between us right now, and I don't know how soon or when we could be in the same area, or how that would all work. I didn't care; I was on cloud nine.
Then we go to the beach the next day and he reaches to hold my hand. Later that night, I move to kiss him. Somewhere between the two, he told me he was tempted to look for jobs in this area. All the time, I'm half in shock and half expecting him to come clean that this is all some drawn out and hurtful joke.
So now I'm back at work, trying to get back into the swing after two days of nothing but him, nothing but the euphoria of being around him and everything going so smoothly. Despite my fear, this is what I hoped would happen all along. I just never thought it actually would happen. I wonder if I will ever allow myself to be happy, to be told that he is falling head over heels for me or that he would even consider me in his permanent future.
Trying to think about him is not the problem; thinking about anything else is.
Rob calls. We chatter aimlessly about the future and my cat's sprained paw. I do not have the heart to tell him that I beat him for a scholarship even though he has an insanely high average and I don't. Friendly competition is fun until someone wins.
While driving I wonder if it is possible to love someone solely because of their musical taste.
Other than that nothing interesting at all.... the excitement of my life blares.
One of them trumped the collection but since I'm so nice I won't (plainly) tell which one. Instead I will only share that the first was delivered by air mail (someone wanted to make sure it got here!) and was handwritten in groovy metallic ink and was sealed in an envelope with a happy mailbox sticker on the back saying MAIL TIME! (yes yes that's all good and wot, but when's MALE TIME!?), whilst the latter was written in the form of a nate-style word galaxy (see his homepage if you want to know what I'm talking about, or even better someone node it), included a button for the infamous button-hat (Can't sleep - the clowns will eat me!) and whose reception means I will not be getting any nudie pictures instead. At least, not for a while.
I'll leave my house today for the first time in three days! Egad!
Knifegirl, get better or I'll have to march down to Florida and beat you with the get well stick.
The movie night for tonight is being pre-empted by a double feature of Perfect Blue and Princess Mononoke at a local repertory theatre.
in our last episode... | p_i-logs | and then, all of a sudden...
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