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April Trolls Day

created by Jet-Poop

(thing) by Jet-Poop (31.4 min) (print)   ?   3 C!s I like it! Sun Apr 01 2001 at 16:30:07

Ah, April 1, 2001! The first day of the new millennium dedicated to full-scale tomfoolery! How could we not commemorate it?

After queries went out among the editors and gods, suggestions for a few pranks started filtering in. N-Wing came up with some great ideas for reversing the text in writeups and converting them to 1337-speek, but I must take full blame for the concept of the now-infamous April Trolls episode: editors and gods created new troll accounts and on April 1, server time, began indulging in the worst possible newbie/troll behavior. I myself made several appearances as sloppyjoe, a high school kid who thought he was a genius and yet couldn't manage to figure out hardlinking, private messages, or proper spelling.

Numerous poorly written and inflammatory nodes quickly filled up the New Writeups box as the Chatterbox was flooded with the best and most mindless inanity we could dream up--everything from 1337 speak to AOL speak to...some kinds of speak I didn't even recognize. A new noder named "I_OWnz_yEW" mysteriously shot to the top of the Other Users nodelet. Chaos reigned...

Rumors circulated that E2 had been hacked by nefarious enemies, bent on destroying the database once and for all. Sensing a new dimension to the prank, we editors suddenly "discovered" that our powers didn't work and that the EDB had gotten off its leash... Many noders bought into the scam lock, stock and barrel--some even started talking about calling the FBI to track down the crackers. Other noders sensed a prank was going on, but couldn't be sure...

Inspired by the antics of another god, I even slapped together a webpage for sloppyjoe--an enthusiastic and contentless page extolling the glories of himself, geniuses, and Star Trek. Later, E2 was treated to the spectacle of Jet-Poop and sloppyjoe engaging in a furious argument in the Chatterbox--a feat I don't recommend for everyone, 'cause it made me feel a bit schizophrenic...

I received a number of /msg's from concerned and frustrated noders, including ephealy, Seven_, Wigs, Tauress, TrbleClef, Jurph, wukong888, and anemotis. Even with a newbie as clueless and as utterly without content as I was, they worked hard to try to direct me to the FAQ and to teach me how to use the Chatterbox correctly. Seriously, they're a credit to E2, and I'm blessing them with a few dozen XP as soon as I get this noded. Kudos, gang. In fact, kudos to all of you--I've never seen so much concern for the database and such thoughtful musing about the future of E2. Youse guys are great. :)

In the end, we ended the prank a bit early, due to a combination of concern for the noders who were really very angry that E2 had been h4xx0red and concern for our own frazzled nerves--at times, it was like someone had dosed us with really bad acid. The work of the troll noders is being deleted as we speak--never let it be said that we don't clean up our own messes. Some of you are angry, and we understand, but we'd like to make sure you realize that we were just trying to have some fun and that nothing like this is ever going to happen again...

And if we think of doing any pranks next year--kick us. Hard.

(idea) by coby (3.4 y) (print)   ?   I like it! Sun Apr 01 2001 at 18:36:27

My favorite write-up was as follows...

If you can read this, SHUTDOWN E2 (idea) by Nanosecond

I don't know if this is an April Fools joke or something, but it seems that idiots have broken into E2. If you're a God, shutdown the site as soon as possible and fix the security hole before bring it back up. They've altered the xp system, have access to the mysql database, and are posting garbage writeups. I write this in a writeup because I am borged and cannot communicate.

I hope the gods intervene....

woleb ti daer dluoc uoy os sdrowkcab ti detsoper I os ,sdrawkcab txet eht edam yehT

etacinummoc tonnac dna degrob ma I esuaceb puetirw a ni siht etirw I .spuetirw egabrag gnitsop era dna ,esabatad lqsym eht ot ssecca evah ,metsys px eht deretla ev'yehT .pu kcab ti gnirb erofeb eloh ytiruces eht xif dna elbissop sa noos sa etis eht nwodtuhs ,]doG a er'uoy fI .2E otni nekorb evah stoidi taht smees ti tub ,gnihtemos ro ekoj slooF lirpA na si siht fi wonk t'nod I

I just love that nanosecond thought to put his message both forwards and backwards. Yay for resourceful noders!


(person) by Rancid_Pickle (3.6 mon) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Sun Apr 01 2001 at 16:58:43

Oh, no! It's "Come Clean" time!

I was the evil H4X0r named I_0WnZ_yEw. I tried my best not to write inflammatory stuff to other noders, but I kept going on about how a AOL could hack this place. Instead of noding trollish stuff, I just captured all the text on one screen and posted it under many different node titles. Thanks to someone who has some additional powers, IOU the 'L33t Hacker ended up with 2.2 million XP, which shot him to the top of the Everything's Best Users list.

When I appeared as good old reliable Rancid_Pickle, I had someone borge me so IOU could take the credit. Actually, everything that happened IOU took credit for. When E2 slowed down because of bandwidth, IOU took credit for it by saying he started searching for the letter "e" in the database. When the editors said they lost editor powers and could not delete the troll writeups, IOU said it was his handiwork.

Now, for some funny items. There were many folks who /msg'd poor old I_0WnZ_yEw and told him what they thought of him. Straight from the chatterbox comes these fresh messages:

  • JyZude says dude, you suck. Sent three times.
  • Jurph says Get Bent, Script Kiddie. You've got the brains God gave a retarded walrus... and the walrus wants to trade back. Jurph, once I asked how to get rid of the messages with the checkboxes, tried valiantly to flood me with that message. Kudos for defending E2 as best as he could!
  • Jurph says Instant Karma's Gonna Get You... Gonna slap you right in the face. Better get your (lame) sh*t together... join the human race (you fScking troll). And we all shine on...XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx I modified the explicatives :)
  • Jurph says What's a matter? Can't figure out how to link to sh*t? What a great and mighty h4x0r you are. You should be r00t. O, wait, you're a fScking impotent maladroit monkeynut.
  • Jurph says Wow. You really are totally fScking clueless here, aren't you? You're nothign more than a newbie with god powers... and you don't even know how to use them. Go back to Diablo II, where cheating is more fun. I would guess that Jurph was quite taken in by IOU's ruse.
  • jesicapierce says I am in secret communication w/ (name withheld) - i have him convinced we are going to crack the Fed next - he wants to help. I told him you are my so - he wants to know our group name. MAKE ONE UP QUICK HAHA and make it DUMB. I made up Elite 0Wnerz Colective (with that spelling error).
  • jesicapierce says Damn you are good - i told him to watch the news for us next week - and I am referring to you as "Bert" - your real name isnt Bert is it? Nope, it's not Bert, or Ernie for that matter :)
  • The numerous folks who kept up the "Oh, my, our powers are gone, we were hacked" routine. Special kudos to Dannye with his appending everything he said with redboot, and saying someone had modified the code so he couldn't borg anyone. The straight-man did an excellent job of being the foil.
I hope you had fun, or can at least look back and laugh about it now.


Remember, we L000VE all y'all.

If you're upset about the goings-on, please dismiss it as a "blowing off steam" incident. Remember, the Editors and Gods volunteer to go through the database daily and cull out the bad writeups, some right up there with the stuff posted today. We don't get paid, we do it because this place is worth donating time and reading through 20 one-liners to get to the one gem. Give us this day our daily prank, and we will be renewed in our mission to keep E2 worth visiting daily. Honest :)

(place) by creases (37 s) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Sun Apr 01 2001 at 17:01:49

The events of last night threw us mid-level noders into panic and disarray. Here are snippets from the Chatterbox, interspersed with exerpts from the e-mail I sent dem bones, out of concern that the damage would be very hard to repair. All has been edited for clarity, flow, and maximal irony.


<AndyAnime> What's this about an April Fools JOke?

<Cletus the Foetus> Five hours of chaos. Pure chaos.

<Lord Brawl> Hey folks, all will be explained shortly. Normal operations are restored. Do not panic.

<RACECAR> please share CtF.


Bones,

I don't know how fast news travels, but at around midnight server time, chaos broke out.


<Cletus the Foetus> First, the writeups started appearing in sdrawkcab or in leetspeak. Random percentage chance, went away on a refresh. Nothing horrible, looked like the Blockstacker style.


The first thing everyone noticed was that, as writeups would load on the page, they'd be changed. Some were translated into élite-speak; some were printed so that the letters ran from right to left, although the links still worked properly. It didn't happen all the time; there seemed to be a percentage-chance on every load. We were puzzled, and amused; this would be just the sort of thing that the Blockstackers might organise. Harmless April Fool's Day pranks.

But then there were other things.


<Cletus the Foetus> Then, a number of trolls appeared. They started spamming the chatterbox and the New Writeups with some of the stupidest, most innane and downright /obscene/ stuff you'd ever read.

<Cletus the Foetus> The editors claimed to be powerless, saying that their controls had been crossed; a Kill had become a C!, a Curse had become a Bless, and so on. Some editors declared that their accounts had been broken into.

<LightHouseGirl> Hey everyone. I'm glad I didn't post my first post yesterday! haha


They claimed to be taking over Everything on behalf of the Stiles Project. I thought this was funny, and created the nodeshell "April Fool's Day StilesProject Invasion."

The creepiest part was that the trolls could do impersonations. One was called "jesicapierce" (one S), another was called " nate" (with a space in front). It was around this time I decided it might be wise to take names.

Normally, this wouldn't be something the editors couldn't handle -- except that all of a sudden, the editors couldn't use their commands. An attempted Kill became a C! They attempted to use opcodes directly and that wouldn't work.

Evil Catullus created The War Room, a new room where we could all reconvene and try to figure out what was going on. If it was a joke, nobody was in on it. I told them all that I was keeping track of the names.

It was around this time that I, as well as everyone else in The War Room, was Borged.


<Cletus the Foetus> A post in the name of DMan appeared, taking credit for organising the attack by getting trolls from Stilesproject and Slashdot to invade and ruin our database. A writeup by Dis corroborated this.


Then, under April Fool's Day StilesProject Invasion, a writeup appeared under DMan's name. It took credit for organising the attack, claiming that trolls had been invited from Slashdot and the Stiles Project specifically for the purposes of this attack, which had apparently been months in the making. Although this node was destroyed quite quickly, Jurph's daylog April 1, 2001 can confirm this. Also corroborating is Dis's writeup under If you can read this, SHUTDOWN E2 (which node was originally Nanosecond's futile attempt to get the attention of anyone in power).


<Cletus the Foetus> One of the leaders of the group, a creature called I_0wnz_yew or something, claimed that he had been studying the opensource for the Everything engine and that he could hack it. Nobody believed him until he gave himself 2,000,000 xp. We were afraid.


Many people still thought this was a joke, and left, expecting E2 to be back to normal when they logged on again. General Wesc declared that he was emptying all his writeups and that he was leaving E2. When I pointed out to Sylvar that his "Kills" were actually C!ing the horrible troll crap, he said:

<Sylvar> I give up. This place has become unmanageable. If anyone wants to use my account, feel free. The password is NoloCreo. Have fun.


<bigmouth_strikes> Cletus...how many trolls did you count to last night ?

<Cletus the Foetus> I counted 20 trolls, and I had a further list of others suspected of being involved.

<blowdart> No no you were suckers :)

<Jinmyo> Team Jet-Poop is at work on a node about this. Cletus, you should post your own history.

<Cletus the Foetus> In panic, I e-mailed dem bones, recounting the tale in gruesome detail. No reply; it seemed that the Edev crew was out partying or somesuch. And it looked like Everything was doomed.


I'm still online, five hours later, and no one can reverse the damage. Rancid Pickle's been on for not quite an hour, and he still doesn't believe that nobody's in control of the situation.

Here's a list of the trolls that appeared specifically for the purposes of the invasion and who contributed to the significant damage. Just peruse their writeups to see what I mean.

I_0WnZ_yEw
HA4prl1HA <-- The one who posted the first message which served as a warning of the onslaught which was about to begin
JayStile <-- Possibly the actual owner of Stiles Project; I care not to speculate
largo <-- Another (or possibly the same) haxor
nate <-- Now this one caused us much confusion
myBUTTyourFACE
I'm/a/dick
Phone Sex Fairy
jesicapierce <-- This one was not even a very good impression, unless the real Jess is somehow a sex-starved whore
Sophana Peters
The Easter Bunny
The Corinthian
Ulrich
Lock
sloppyjoe <-- A self-proclaimed super-genius with a 160 IQ, don't ya know
39145
cloudbuster
Zartacla
Mrs. Robinson <-- She kept insisting that we were the weakest links.
MOM_OF_GORTICIAN <-- This one's role was primarily to make stupid comments in the chatterbox, rather than to actually do any damage by trying to flood the database with crap nodes.

Finally, some noders who deserve mention, either because they helped out, or because they did stuff that made the situation worse but by accident. dannye screamed at the trolls like nobody's business, and though it didn't work, he seemed honestly to be doing what he could. As I already mentioned, Evil Catullus tried to organise some resistance. Poor newgirl, a newbie, was caught in the crossfire. xmatt, at one point, made a really suspicious comment that made it sound like he was behind some of the trolling, but he made that comment before some of the worst stuff happened and he claimed later that it was in jest. And Infinite Burn had created a new account, Infinite Bum, with which to annoy everyone, but later apologised; this was before the actual trolling began.


But I guess the joke's on me.

Now that the chaos is over and everything's becoming clear, I think it'd be cool to know which trolls were whom. /msg ctf if you're one of the trolls on the above list, and tell me who you really were. It was an amazing prank, and in retrospect it was a lot of fun. It's things like this that live in the Everything User Consciousness for ages.


(idea) by bol (4.3 hr) (print)   ?   2 C!s I like it! Sun Apr 01 2001 at 17:20:50

"Ha! You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine"
- Homer Simpson to Bart Simpson.

"It's a thin line between comedy and a hostage situation"
- Rich Hall

Now that, I've had a chance to sleep,I realise that this whole episode was rather hysterical. I admit, I was really suckered in. I even changed my password in fear (to "fuckyouhacker"). I think I only got an inkling when the troll largo said "gotta go,my parents are unplugging my 'pooter".

Let's consider what we've learned:

Now let's never speak of it again.*

*Unless of course, Bones is giving out to you for your new Vegetables that I have had in my ass node. Then fell free to say, "yeah, well where were you on April Fool's Day?!?!?"


What isn't hilarious is the way that some of the editors and Gods handled the response to this. A couple apologised and listend to people's conerns. But some decided to laregly ignore the feeling of the average Joq Q. Noder, told them to get over it and thenm unleashed the EDB when they got annoyed. I'm sure there will be millions of flames noded then quickly nuked on this topic. I just want to take this little corner of the nodgel to say:

I'm really disappointed.


(thing) by ccunning (1.1 mon) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Sun Apr 01 2001 at 17:34:46

Well, good one. I was convinced it was a joke, until some well meaning fellow noders, many of whom were probably in on the joke, started getting me to doubt. Actually, the most doubt came from wondering if even the gods would stoop so low as to deface E2 like this. It was a bit questionable, I feel bad for the newbie noders who we may never see again.

But alas, hindsight is 20/20 and there was much reason to doubt.

  • It all started as the E2 clock hit April 1. Coincidence?
  • Many of the "hackers" had names that were plays on respected noders. A hacker probably wouldn't take the time to get to know the community and figure out what high profile noders would make the best names to parody.
  • There was an unusual lack of gods around. Coincidence?
  • dannye was not the least bit concerned, making rather humorous comments such as "borg does not end with an e, I'm afraid we cannot fulfill your request until your properly spell it." (I'm going from memory here). dannye does not strike me as the type of guy to joke around during a troll invasion...
  • The editor powers were disabled when it all started. Coincidence? I figured they were either in on the joke and lying about it, or the gods were pulling one over the editors. Either way, it seemed way too much of a coincidence.
  • There was no real damage done. All that really happened were stupid writeups and catbox comments. If the site had really been hacked, my guess is they would have done much more damaging things, such as cursing people, hacking the front page, mass deleting of writeups, etc.

My final thought on this prank was to wonder what would have happened if a group of users had gotten together and planned this prank. Would the editors and gods have laughed and let it go on, or would they have started nuking and killing accounts? I'm willing to bet it's the latter.


(place) by eponymous (1.5 mon) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Sun Apr 01 2001 at 18:07:49

I was disturbed, disgusted, and frightened.

Having participated on websites that have been the targets of trolls, sockpuppets, and nastiness, I could not see the humor in it.

I'll get over it, but I think the Gods should apologize to those of us who were afraid that their special place was gone forever. There's a note about DMan that says (I paraphrase) "He made E2 a darker, less friendly place, put blood in the water theme, made trolling more common."

Last night, the Gods did the same thing.

I'll live. I'll keep noding, keep chatting, keep expanding and improving my homenode. But when real trolls come in, when the gates need to be guarded and the molten lead poured down the battlements, there is going to be a little less trust in our leader's judgement, a little hesitation in the Hierarchy of Angels.


I do still have enough trust in the benevolence of the Gods to speak out against what they did. If I did not, I would not be here. I would simply become another nodeless usershell.
On sumbit, my writeup was translated into 1337sp34k. Thanks a lot.
It's not that I don't think the Gods will be able to deal with trolls and hackers in the future. It's that the people will be a little slower to react. The Citizen Militia of Everything2 has been cried wolf to.
Like I said, I will get over it, as will we all. Someday, this will be funny. Maybe even someday soon. But today? I wonder if there are a few good people who will not come back.

In regards to Gamaliel -- I have high respect for you, as you and others probably know. I consider you a mentor, and your statements have the same weight to me as Dannye's. One statement in your w/u encapsulates, to me, what went wrong with the prank. "...the mere presence of Stile was enough to mix things up a bit and strike fear into the hearts of the newbies.....". When I was new here, I was scared anyway, hoping for approval, creating pathetic nodes about noding, whining in the Cbox, being a newbie. If last night had been my first time here, I wouldn't have come back, and I feel both I and E2 would be poorer for the experience.

I don't deny that the Heirarchy needed to blow off some steam. Let me make a suggestion. Next year, invade /. or The Stile Project, or someplace that deserves it.


I'm strting to feel bettar about it already.
Yes, the fact that I fell for it hook line and sinker did add to my rush of negative emotions. Big news here, nobody likes to be the butt of the joke.

1'11 g3t 0v3r 1t.


(idea) by Evil Catullus (16.9 hr) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Sun Apr 01 2001 at 18:12:00

It's the morning after the madness and I have the emotional equivalent of a hangover. And I feel as if I owe plenty of people apologies and trust there will be copious mea culpas and breast-beating all-around, but that comes later. Right now I'm going to admit a dirty little secret, I had fun. You see, I'd had a pretty terrible week and desperately needed to blow off so steam and a little duplicity goes a long way in helping that.

I was Sophanda Peters.

My initial idea was to imitate the writing style of certain High School Students who reveal entirely too much about themselves on the web in a semi-literate manner. I actually spent several days preparing my character, perusing the entries at diaryland.com and deciding whether or not she'd abbreviate 'u' to you before coming up with a truly obnoxious stream-of-consciousness writing style that mimicked the speech patterns of the "bad" girls I knew in High School. I did not stop there; I gave my character a real name (Amber), slapped together a terrible webpage and gave her a hotmail address then created notes on her background and history to make sure that I did not give contradictory information in any of her writeups. Although most of her writeups were winged, quite a few were created as early as three days in advance including "why you shouldn't give head on a black sofa". And I will admit, it was fun to play this nearly mindless vulgar little bimbette.

And the first wave of the prank was fun. A little chaos after spending so much time imposing order was a nice way to let off some steam. And being in on the entire prank, I was able to see how cunnningly crafted some of the Editor-trolls were, although many were loud and in-your-face some were quiet and disturbingly clever. And the Editors and Gods played straight men shockingly well and Dis even went so far as to set himself up as the scapegoat for the entire thing. Hypotheses popped up as to what was really behind this ranging from it being a huge joke played on the Content Editors by the Gods to it being an actual invasion by Stile and company again to it being just an unfortunate result of our being slashdottted.

At first, the chaos was amusing and I enjoyed watching people guess what was really behind the insanity, but then it stopped being fun. It stopped being fun when people were actually getting panicked. It stopped being fun when users became offended and upset. It stopped being fun when people I consider friends came to me for answers and for the sake of the gag I purposely provided misdirection and outright lies. To those people, I apologize profusely, I have always considered myself a dependable guy but understand if you people have trouble trusting me after this.

In the end, I hope that no one was seriously hurt or offended or angered by this. There was no real malice intended. We just meant to have a little fun and did not realize that the "fun" would get so out of hand. The revels are over and we have taken off our masks and gone back to the task of cleaning up the mess we have made. Our only hope is that you will not begrudge us our night of madness.


(idea) by xmatt (1.4 d) (print)   ?   I like it! Sun Apr 01 2001 at 18:38:58

I first the noticed the pranks when Azure Monk, on IRC, said "Hey, why the hell is The Gallic Wars written in l33t?" I didn't see the l33t when I opened up the writeup, so I clicked through a few others and saw the other text filters, and then I saw the server time:
00:05 Sun Apr 1 2001

Next, the node I H4XX0RED E2!! appeared, posted by user "HA4pr1HA", so I posted a reponse explaining my obsverations to date. I updated the writeup periodically throughout the night.

Well, clearly this was some of sort of April Fools day joke, and it was more elaborate than I had thought. The trolling started with largo, Sophanda Peters, and JayStile. Now, I don't know everyone E2 so I assume that maybe they were newbieish users, which would make sense considering the Slashdot article a while ago. But that so many clueless newbies would show up all at once and spew such garbage? Hmph.

I went to #everything and found Infinite Burn concocting ways to join in the mayhem, including his own troll node idea, I didn't do it. I posted a suggestive message hinting that maybe I was involved in the chaos. At this point I was fairly sure that either someone purposely being a troll, or 3 or 4 IQ-challenged friends has stumbled upon E2. The alleged loss of editor powers seemed to be the missing link, though. I guess I should have suspected, at that point, that something was amiss. Truly, though, my first notion was that it was bunch of E2 regulars having fun at everyone's expense. I honestly never suspected to the editorship of E2 would stoop that low. I guess I know better now.

As the evening progressed, noders who were not in on the gag in #everything began to suspect a hack. People were getting frustrated and worried. Many fully believed that it was not at all a prank and that E2 had really been broken into by some semi-competent hackers.

I peronally know how such people work, and E2 is high-profile enough that someone might have deemed it worth their time. The people really DID seem to have a deeper understanding of E2 than most would, and as such I suspected that maybe they had just spent a week or two browsing and understood the concepts behind it.

I went to sleep around 1:30 AM EDT thinking that E2 had been hacked, to some extent, and that hopefully order would be restored by morning. Indeed it was, and only then did some of the editors break the news that everything, from the changing of the XP to the near-panic of some users, had been part of the prank

I would agree that it went too far, and some people got a seriously misfigured idea of E2. But things like this build character, and I think E2 will be better off having lived through this.


(idea) by Gamaliel (4.3 y) (print)   ?   2 C!s I like it! Sun Apr 01 2001 at 18:56:39

My God, this was the most fun I've had in a long time.

Perhaps you think I need to get out more.

To all of you who objected to this, especially those who objected on behalf of other hypothetical objectors, please lighten up. It was all in good fun. Nobody got hurt, nobody died. We will clean up our mess, give our explanations and apologies, and we will get back to the serious business of wasting our leisure time in a serious manner. Please don't worry so much, people are not as fragile as you think.

To any of you who were offended by this, I'm sorry. I've even heard a rumor about a threatened lawsuit. But this was April Fools Day after all, and if you were in tears about a web site prank, you might start saving your pennies to buy a sensory deprivation chamber for next April. Look, I love E2 as much as, probably more than, you do. I'm sorry if you feel used and/or abused by the gods and editors, but we're entitled to a little fun once a year for all the culling and troll prevention we do. If it wasn't for us, every day would be like April Fools Day. E2 would be Slashdot. Or The Stile Project.

With that said, kudos to those noders who valiantly and vainly attempted to stem the tide of insanity in the absence of editors by trying to contact E2 gods or reasoning with trolls or whatever they tried to do. With that kind of dedication, you'll replace me in no time.

My God, I didn't think this was actually going to work, but it did, and brilliantly. I think the key was twofold: one, that a large group of people were in on it, and two, they all went off in their own directions, so the sheer, uncoordinated chaos prevented people from fingering the culprits and convinced them that it could not have possibly been an organized conspiracy, at least not totally.

We all knew who was who, but that was all we knew. Nobody knew exactly what anyone was going to pull, and in the confusion some of us lost track of who exactly was in on it and who wasn't. Despite this, we all managed to pull together and play off each other's pranks. All (as far as I could tell) of the editors claimed they lost the power to kill, a lie that spontaneously formed with no collusion as far as I knew. Many of us appeared in the chatterbox or on #everything wondering what was going on at the same time our trolls were tearing the roof off.

Some individual achievements: There were N-Wing's tricks with the server and dannye (acting like himself) and jessicapierce (acting like bizarro jessicapierce) in the chatterbox. Even Dman made a few appearances. I was especially impressed with Sylvar and Evil Catullus, who created consistent, realistic, believable characters during their trolling. And prize for best troll name should go to MOM_OF_GORTICIAN

All this chaos had people speculating on just about everything. dannye claimed that dem bones had sold e2 for ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Some people thought we were being invaded by Slashdot or The Stile Project. Others combined conspiracy theories and thought that a prank by the e2 gods was compounded by an invasion of trolls, perhaps taking advantage of security vulnerabilities created by changing code. Some thought Dman was back to exact revenge, perhaps teaming up with JayStile.

I might as well confess, since we'll probably release the list of who's who anyway, I was JayStile. As Jet-Poop said, be afraid, be very afraid. I didn't do anything inspired, or even interesting with the nodes I created, but the mere presence of Stile was enough to mix things up a bit and strike fear into the hearts of the newbies. When people pointed out that Stile already had an account or that he probably wasn't the real thing, JayStile reminded them that last time he was here, people doubted he was real then too. When I said something in the chatterbox, people on #everything immediately quoted me, so I cut and pasted large chunks of irc conversation and posted them to E2 just to fuck with them.

I was warned about using the name of a real person to troll, but I decided to do it anyway. He is a public figure, and he's an asshole, and he sent dozens of trolls over here in an attempt to screw with E2 after we downvoted a couple of his crap nodes. So fuck him. And Dman has earned every minute of abuse he's gotten, and he's still bitching about and slandering and lying about E2 on Slashdot this very minute, so many months after his forced departure for continually abusing noders. So fuck him too.

And for those of you who feel angry at being suckered, or who have lost respect for E2 or me personally, all I can say is I'm sorry. We are not homophobes, sexists, or racists. Please lighten up, it was all just a joke. E2 does really love you. Well, at least the EDB does...
Wonko, I had a troll node at -36! So there. :P

Equal time dept. Dman responds via irc: "nice little bitch on the April Troll's node. you probably accepted bones' whine on my home node hook, line and sinker. it's great to see how you people are still ready to feed my E2 corpse to the vultures. pretty pathetic. to end this, fuck you too."

Eponymous: I don't know what to say. Yours is the only objection I haven't dismissed, and it's the only one that hits home. All I can do is apologize again. Remember that authority figures are people like everyone else, just with a little more responsibility and experience, and ideally wisdom, than the people under them. We might have acted terribly irresponsible last night, but we can be stupid and juvenile and fun-loving and irresponsible just like anyone else. I had the time of my life, and I won't apologize for that, but if your respect for me and the other editors and gods has dimmed, I'm not sure what we can do to change that. If we fucked up today, please try to judge us by what we manage to accomplish on the other 364 days of the year. And to you and everyone who objected, we might not agree with your gripes, but we do notice that you care enough about E2 to complain about it so strongly. Thanks for sticking around.

(thing) by sleeping wolf (6.5 hr) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Sun Apr 01 2001 at 19:00:59

How many times can one cry wolf on E2?

Once, apparently.

Last night, I was finishing my income tax return, and decided to pop over to E2 for a breather. It was just after 0000 UTC. I was surprised by what I saw. Trolls up the wazoo. I didn't need this, and went back to the taxes, but left an mIRC window in #everything open.

A bit later, two hours or so, I was done, and decided to take a look at it again. It looked bad. Then something told me that it was too neatly done. Every single user's last login date was on July 2, 2001. Why, in the world, would HAX0R5 do that? So I used my edev cilia, and within two minutes, discovered that the Content Editors and Gods had not hid their plans well. Normal users wouldn't see much even if they found the planning area, but edevites will find that node quite...interesting, when the proper tools are applied.

I chatted with chromatic a bit about it. I saw that some elements of The Power Structure of Everything 2 were getting to blow off steam (which they could use, I was aware -- plenty of sewage flows through these hallowed walls on a daily basis), and began ensuring I had put my returns together properly. I looked up at #everything and realized, instantly, that there would be a backlash. I thought about revealing the truth, but decided the damage was already done, and that those in on the prank may as well get their full money's worth from it. Of course, if things were different, would the prank ever have happened?


April 2, 2001: It appears some higher-up unveiled their previously-veiled plans at Suggestions for E2 April Fools Pranks. Learn how it all got started.
Later: It's gone now. So much for that. Oceania have always been at war with Eastasia. Or perhaps not. Updates may appear later.


(idea) by artemis entreri (8.6 mon) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Sun Apr 01 2001 at 19:13:13

Well, I, for one, thought that last night was hilarious. Many of you may not give a whit, but hey; you're welcome to your opinion. I think the reason so many people are offended is because they fell for it. Plain and simple. I mean, come on. There are already a few writeups in this node that express something akin to moral outrage, and have stated that, after last nights debauchery, they will have a snide retort for the gods/editors when we're told to act responsibly.

Can anyone say: "out of proportion?" Come on..say it..I know you can.

I understand that everything2 is a community, and, as it is populated by the online personas of humans, it exhibits some of the flaws of humanity. Because of that, we try and instill some sense of morals -- the proper way of going about life on e2. That's good. That's important. We need standards. But to say that the gods and editors have lost our faith because they pulled an April Fool's joke is crazy.

Think about it.

Would the gods just sit there while evil haxors invaded our site. Would dannye just sit there, complacently, while utter chaos reigned? If anything, I could see how someone might be upset because they wanted to get some noding done. I know I did, but I also think that a night without noding is not the end of the world. Especially if it's a result of a prank. The fact that we're a community means that we also have fun together. Personally, I think it's important that the gods and editors involved have stated that it was a joke. I don't think they really needed to apologize, but hey; it can't hurt.

I'm not going to think less of Evil Catullus or Rancid Pickle because they played a prank. To tell you the truth, I wasn't sure what was going on last night. Either way, it was funny. If it was a joke, then all would be well in the morning. If it wasn't, all would still be well. Fine. The editors have to nuke a bunch of users and writeups. Wow. Not the end of the world. If you just sat back and read the catbox comments, instead of running around like a chicken with its head cut off, you'd have enjoyed yourself a lot more.

If you're mad that DMan and Stile were made to seem responsible, well, I don't know what to say. It sounds like you want to be mad, and you're just going to be mad no matter what. It was a prank; you fell for it. Get on with life. To avoid this problem in the future, the gods and editors may now blame everything on me. I don't mind, and I even preemptively forgive them. Now there's nothing to bitch about, and we can all have a good laugh, and get on with life. We need some laughs. Especially the ones that pulled the prank. I'm sure it was fun as heck for you guys, and I can see why.

Kudos.

P.S.: I can laugh at myself, and I think you all should too. I'm glad we're having an Oprah style, "get in touch with your feeling after the incident" conversation in this node. That's important, because we all have to focus our energy, and stop being passive acceptors. I learned that in group last week, so there :P

(thing) by Pretzellogic (2 wk) (print)   ?   I like it! Sun Apr 01 2001 at 19:29:18