Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

As if either one of us were happy

created by jessicapierce

(person) by junkpile (2.7 y) (print)   ?   4 C!s I like it! Sat Aug 12 2000 at 6:05:02

In Montana I didn't miss one sunset but he never sat through one with me. In a wooden chair on a wooden deck it felt like I was adrift, it was easy to look out over the big flat dimming backyard and see it as a quiet ocean. Quiet was good. I watched the horizon houses blacken to a crisp under the sinking fire. You could watch it disappearing by degrees.

These were star quality sunsets and Montana was used to them. Not impressed anymore, which I understand, but he hadn't had any sunsets with me and I thought maybe that would be enough to make it worthwhile but it was not. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I just know I was never crucial there in any way.

Before we went to bed he would put on a cd and he never asked what I wanted to listen to. I never spoke up. I wanted to see how many times he wouldn't ask. He always set the volume slightly too loud, and he always said There, perfect, and leaped into bed grinning like he was proving something, as if either one of us were happy.

One night he made dinner which came with a big loud fuss about how great he was for cooking for me. He was serious, he wanted extra credit. How much further did he think that would get him? I was already in his bed. Did he think I might start telling him stories, or enjoying his?

So he was making lamb something and bragging about how spicy it was going to be. I don't like spicy I said. He said Gonna burn your tongue off and laughed and scraped another wet lump of curry out of the jar. I watched him angling over the meat on the counter, dead, and knew what things had become.

That night I crawled out from under his heavy sweaty arm and snuck downstairs for raspberry pie. With my fingers. The berries crushed tartly together and the juice shone in the refrigerator light. It may have been the best pie of my life. I ate it slowly. I wanted something to savor.

printable version
chaos

If I didn't ask, I'd never know (how much you hate me) It's so easy to say you cried yourself to sleep. It's so hard to do. She was an intellectual prostitute, seducing me with profound truisms Ruined lives of lesser girls
You're missing it I wanted to see how many times he wouldn't ask. tattoo Until death do us part
Lean on Me birds chirping naked before you Malachi
April 16, 2007 Sesame Street Linux Pedestrian Traffic 3
bottled up One Crazy Summer
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
After stirring Everything, these nodes rose to the top:
Samuel Beckett
Invisible Man
Search Engine Mechanics
/msg'ing a secret
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
You're So Vain
Marshall Applewhite
Why Microsoft is evil
Irish Wake
RUR
Your first writeup will be nuked: Don't give up
Tipping for service
Why alcohol is legal and pot is not
New Writeups
rootbeer277
m&m's Ice Cream Treats(review)
Transitional Man
Gus's Chalet(review)
minnow
.410 bore(thing)
shaogo
Phonautogram(thing)
Morkel
Changing your sexuality(idea)
teleny
Baron Samedi(person)
Ouzo
The Great Barbershop Race Wars(log)
Mannerisky
second language(essay)
aneurin
British Monomarks(idea)
FrankThomas
How and why do we (humans) have culture?(essay)
lee_cad
Isaac(person)
kalen
downvota(poetry)
Andrew Aguecheek
Wstfgl(thing)
ncc05
overheard at IHOP(event)
calgon
Bottomless(poetry)
E2 is a by-product of the existence of The Everything Development Company