Bärndütsch is the language spoken in and around Bern, Switzerland.
Though most French-speaking Swiss think this language is unpleasant to hear, I think this sounds like a German(-?)speaking Japanese (but don't believe me, I am a musician, not a linguist).
Bärndütsch vocabulary is a cross between French and German vocabularies but its grammar is much simpler.
Bärndütsch has several utilities :

1. It is not widely spoken (one million people, maybe less ?) and hardly understood by German-speaking people, so my wife and I attempt to use it to have private conversations when surrounded by other people.
2. It reminds us of the wonderful Berner Mittelland and Berner Oberland's landscapes.
3. It is spoken by the most beautiful women in the world: Berner girls like this one, which would just be happy to help you improve your pronounciation.

Also, an important point about Bärndütsch is its lack of official spelling. You can make mistakes while typing it, nobody should normally care (provided the pronounciation remains clear).

Now that you know a little more about this language, you can proceed with the Bärndütsch conversation guide.