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Bloody Stupid Johnson

created by ymelup

(person) by ymelup (2 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) Sat Oct 21 2000 at 11:32:48

A character from Terry Pratchett's Discworld, who appears in a few books, most notably the City Guard books, like Men At Arms. His full name is Bergholt Stuttley Johnson, but he's more commonly known as "Bloody Stupid". It's not that he had no skill but like many things in the Discworld (like being knurd), he went onto the negative scale of things. He was a genius in incompetency. He stuffed up in ways beyond the imagination of mere mortals. For example (and I quote from Hogfather):
The late (or at least severely delayed) Bergholt Stuttley Johnson was generally recognized as the worst inventor in the world, yet in a very specialized sense. Merely bad inventors made things that failed to operate. He wasn't among these small fry. ... Everything he built worked. It just didn't do what it said on the box. If you wanted a small ground-to-air missile, you asked Johnson to design an ornamental fountain.

His most lasting contribution to Ankh-Morpork society was the phrase: "Well, you've really johnsoned that one up!".


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