• 1 Cabbage
• 1 1/2c Cooked Rice
• 1 lb Ground Beef
• 1 small Onion diced finely
• 2 cloves Garlic finely chopped
• Fresh Black Pepper
• 15 oz Tomato Sauce
• 1 Japanese Roommate

1. Heat oven to 350^oF
2. Boil enough water to cover the cabbage
3. Remove the core from the head of the cabbage, discard outside leaves
4. In a mixing bowl mix onion, garlic, rice, pepper, and ground beef
5. When the water has come to a boil, submerge the cabbage
6. Remove cabbage leaves as they soften
7. After removing 12 leaves, remove the cabbage
8. Boil the 12 leaves until the stems are softened enough to roll
9. Shock the leaves in cold water
10. Put two golfball sized spoonfuls of the ground beef mixture in the stem of each leaf
11. Roll leaves like burritos and set seam side down in a baking pan
12. Cover rolls with tomato sauce and bake for 45 minutes or until beef mixture is cooked through

If you subtract the tomato sauce and add ground pork (to the filling), sauerkraut, and smoked sausages, you get sarma, one of the unofficial Croatian food groups and a dish that's quite common throughout the rest of Central and Eastern Europe!

Generally considered to be winter food, months of cabbage roll bliss has to be meticulously prepared for seasonally with a massive barrel of fermenting cabbage. (Well, how did you think sauerkraut was made?) Once the cabbage is sour enough--keep in mind that it gets increasingly flavourful and tangy as time passes--just follow the directions above and remember: no tomato sauce!

But wait a minute... how in hell do you prepare sour cabbage in the first place? Well, I'm glad you asked since properly prepared cabbage is the key to delicious cabbage rolls! The idea is to immerse both shredded and whole cabbages in a saline solution strong enough to kill off pathogens while allowing beneficial bacteria to grow. If too little salt is used, the cabbage can spoil, but too much salt prevents fermentation! The sauerkraut is ready when no more air bubbles are at the surface of the cabbage.

So you have to go buy a bunch of cabbages, remove the cores and outer leaves, shred a few completely and fill the remaining whole ones with salt, pack all of it tightly inside a barrel or some kind of sealable container, and finally sprinkle some more salt to get the whole fermentation process going. In a few weeks you'll have delicious sauerkraut! Just thinking about it makes my mouth water!

That Yodel was so good, I wish I was eating it right now...