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Cock McNuggets

created by simonc

(thing) by Footprints (8.9 hr) (print)   ?   8 C!s I like it! Thu Jun 07 2001 at 11:58:49

One of three McDonald's menu items discontinued because their name was objected to by childrens' rights organizations. The other two are Sausage Between Two Buns and Pork Ribs For Her Pleasure. Courts are still debating the name Big Mac.

Cock McNuggets are slighty stringier than Chicken McNuggets, and taste better with Hot and Sweet sauce or Honey sauce.

Recipe for making Cock McNuggets:

Ingredients
Preparation
Grip the cock firmly around the neck. Shake the cock firmly to exclude any last drops of water. Remove the cock's head with a sharp knife. Slit the cock along the front, and clean it. Remember, you need only the meaty parts. You may be surprised to find how little of the cock is actually muscle.
Cut the meaty part of the cock into small nuggets, about one and a half inches long and one inch wide. (You may find that you have been shortchanged. When people sell cocks, they usually say they are bigger than they actually are, so make sure you see the cock before you buy it.)
Slap the cock with a meat hammer to flatten it a bit. This is known as cockslapping. Dip the cock in the eggs and then in the bread crumbs. Heat up the oil to 283 degrees and put the nuggets inside. Take them out after 1 minute and 54 seconds. Voila! Serve hot.

I find that the best way in general to eat cock, and especially the Cock McNuggets, is dipped in Honey Sauce. It is easy to do this. Just any local honey will do. The honey has to be soft and wet, though. Many honeys are very rigid, but they are usually the cheaper sort. So don't be cheap: spend a bit more and get a honey that is easier to handle. Sometimes it's a bit difficult to open the honey, so you may have to slap it on the bottom.
Dip your prepared cock into the wet honey. Dip a few times using swirling motions, to make sure the cock is completely covered with honey.

Now that is one tasty cock!


1. This has been a simonc challenge.

2. Sorry it took me so long to fill the nodeshell, I had something cooking.


printable version
chaos

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