Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

Drop the hamster and back away from the canary

created by ZamZ

(idea) by AlexZander (1.1 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Fri Aug 18 2000 at 19:13:36

.. I shouted to the deranged pet store owner. "That's right.. no, no, don't LITERALLY drop the hamster.. put him down gently."

The pet store owner cackled loudly at me and rabidly stroked the little hamster's fur. The canary, still in the cage, flapped its wings in an attempt to draw attention to itself. As if to say "Get me the #$!%! out of here!!" I nodded to the canary and it made a break for the open door. "You touch that canary and you'll be dog kibble," I threatened, aiming my .45 at the owner's kneecap. This deranged man was trying to create an unholy crossbreed - the flying hamster. Probably another contract hire from the local circus, looking for more attractions to draw its crowds of twisted humans. The man cackled and stroked the hamster, which was so frightened at this point that it was shaking in the pet store owner's oversized palms.

I watched the owner carefully, a bead of sweat perched on the brim of my brow, ready to splatter into my eye at any moment. He saw the droplet too, and was prepared to make his move.

*splash* *bang* I winged him as he made his break for the door, after the canary. He took a dive and faceplanted on the linoleum floor. The hamster went flying and I threw my gun at the owner's head, making a leap for the hamster. I landed on my stomach and the little bugger squirmed out of my paws and scurried for the open door, hurrying after the canary.

This was a nodeshell. Now it isn't.


printable version
chaos

While the praying mantis hunts the cricket, the sparrow waits ten commandments for c++ programmers hamster I used to love women from afar. Of course, now they call it stalking.
Fly Me to the Moon Unforgiven Nodeshell Everything you wanted to know about hamsters, and then some!
Switchblade Romance Secret Me-Meta-Node Challenge Slowly Lord Flashheart
Canary
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
Drink up!
anosognosia
The E2 Backstory
Canal Street
Erik Satie
Genus Corvus
Oolong
Diane Arbus
Greek studs: a Foucauldian sideways glance at Aristotle's package
Crazy
October 5, 2006
Goth
What Happened to the 56 Men Who Signed the Declaration of Independence
A Day in the Life
New Writeups
trixingee
Dungeon Mastering for the first time(idea)
Netrat0
It's Called Subtext, Honey(person)
eyeofthebeholder
The Dragon(idea)
Heitah
consist, comprise, constitute, or compose(idea)
Meezzio
Gotlandssnus(thing)
argv
Astral Plane(idea)
Madara
One Winged Angel(fiction)
Tom Rook
Talk is cheap(poetry)
shaogo
Adelle Davis(person)
Aerobe
race car g sfjsgsd(poetry)
Binah
Dream Log: July 5, 2008(dream)
StrawberryFrog
Forgotten things in space(idea)
antigravpussy
velvet revolution fairy tale(idea)
Heitah
Nerve agent VX(thing)
Pavlovna
shite(idea)
E2 is a by-product of the existence of The Everything Development Company