God's Own Programming Language

He spent an aeon or two weighing up the pros and cons of each language and finally on the 6th day reached a decision.

He cast C++ into the pit of eternal damnation because he just couldn't get his head around pointers and when his destructors would get called. And the thought of those namespace and exception thingies gave him the squits.

Upon gazing at Perl one more time it became evident that Perl was created by Lucifer! God cast Perl down to the pits of hell, where it is actually seeing a lot of use by the pit fiends and the eternally damned.

Then finally god chose Python to be his own language. And lo, it was good. It even kept those annoying linux weenies happy.

Update: Just for the record (and to rebuff the comments I've gotten) the C++ part is sarcasm. Of course God knows how to use pointers.

Update: Just skimmed through the article in the Python node about ESR coming out and declaring his love for Python. Gonna have to find another language to love and cherish now.

What most people don't realize is that when God writes code, it comes out much like this:

from omnipotence import *
from omniscience import *

def do_stuff(list_of_the_day):
    for i in list_of_the_day:
        if i is Heathen:
            try:
                for j in range(0, 10): smite(i)
                cause_leprosy(i)
            except:
                disintegrate(i)
        else:
            smite(i)

So when you hear a loud, resounding "that's IT, you're ALL on my muthafuckin' LIST", be sure to stand next to a lightning rod. If you, after finding yourself in a definitely non-"oops, looks like I've been fried to a crisp" state, also see a wide-angle disintegration beam coming your way, DUCK AND COVER!.