How to do nothing, and still look like a hard worker

created by pusher

(idea) by pusher (1.1 y) (print) ? 2 C!s I like it! Tue May 08 2001 at 11:24:25

1) Never delete your voice mail. The ability to check your voice mail on speakerphone when someone else is in the room and have them hear "You have 99 messages" is extremely useful.

2) Attribute the highest level of importance to everything you must do during the day. The mate you are meeting for a beer at lunchtime is an important meeting. This is why it is so hard for your clients to get hold of you and realise that you havn't touched their website for weeks.

3) Check your cellphone regularly for messages and missed calls. Push some buttons now and then. During meetings have someone (perhaps an autodialer on your computer) phone you. Look to see who is calling, then divert the call to your voicemail (building on #1). Do this several times, then answer an 'important' one, and excuse yourself.

4) Carry the bigest diary you can. Check it regularly in the presence of others. Just make sure they don't see that the pages are blank, or covered with crude pornographic drawings.

I can't remember where I read these, but they stuck in the back of my mind for ages. I actually started doing #2, and have used #3 to get out of boring meetings that can be re-scheduled. I'm sure you can think of many more ways. I personally like:

5) File everything in your filing cabinet. Flicking throuh thousands of little folders (really filled with a mess of sad jokes and guitar TAB) when you get your client's file out just has to leave an impression.

printable version
chaos

Everybody knows a Kramer	Push the button, Frank	Getting the most out of being a temp	Why realistic drawing is hard
unobtainable men	Textbooks you save because there's that one chapter in back you refer to every two years or so	Everything is true and nothing matters	Little kids = early acid trips
I look better when I am wet	The revolution will not be televised	guitar tab	Definitive 20th Century Novel
How to send e-mail and not look like a dork	Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Game	Someday we will all be crude oil and diamonds	Incomplete two-word sentences with which to end your life
The Rock Revolution Will Not Be Televised	Don't look now	Does this dress make me look fat?	Things guys think girls should know
pornographic fractal	The rest was not perfected	Don't force your not forcing one's philosophy on others philosophy on me	stock options

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