How to eat fruit with manners

Watermelon and honeydew
To eat these big things with the proper etiquette, cut the fruit into large slices and then carve the edible bits (minus the skin, of course) out into manageable sized pieces which can be eaten with a fork. Seeds should either be picked out prior to picking up the piece with your fork or spit out into your hand and placed into your plate (not spat out, of course). Informally, just take the large slices and launch into them like a monkey would.

Dazzle your dinnermates at dessert with this deft display of knifeplay!

First, remove the apple's stem with your fingers by pinching it and twisting until it becomes loose enough to pull off.

Next, place the apple on your plate. Take your knife and make a vertical cut into the apple, right through the center (until recently the home of the stem) and halfway down through the fruit.

Turn the apple over, so that it's resting on its top. Make a similar cut to the first, so that when the two cuts meet in the middle, they are perpendicular to each other.

Now things get tricky. You must now connect these two cuts with two smaller cuts of the horizontal nature. This will result in two Z-shaped slashes down the apple's sides. The apple should easily come apart into two tetris piece-like chunks. They resemble the Z-blocks in a way. If they resemble the L-blocks or the square, you screwed up. Give your aborted creation to someone else and find another apple.

To eat this funky food-sculpture, slide your knife along the flat faces of the two chunks, shearing off bite-size apple bits. Hurry up, before they turn brown!