currently at the top of my
list of complaints about my
job are people who bring their
children to the
computer lab with them. because
small, bouncy people are often
distracting, the parent
shoos the
child off to '
go play.' however, the child is not allowed to leave the
computer center. and there ain't a
hell of a lot to do in here if you're too young to look up
pr0n on the web. thus, people's young
offspring have nothing to do but pester the
green vests.
with some
lab techs, this is fine. it's not like we have a terrible lot to do (witness how much
noding i get accomplished while '
working'). some
consultants are good with kids and can keep them
entertained for hours at a time. fine. but when those
colleagues take their lunch or
smoke breaks, the kids they abandon turn to me, expecting that i will take over as their
temporary best friend.
firstly, this is not a
good thing because i do not get along very well with children. i have a difficult time understanding them, as i'm sure they do me. the
little girl who was just here kept telling me she was
going away, then returning seconds later, much to my
frustration, as i thought she would go off and entertain herself for a while. the most
amusing thing i have to offer
little people is clothing made of
interesting, shiny materials.
secondly, how do the
parents know that i am to be
trusted with their children? while they're plugging away on their final project for their
beginning excel course, i could be
molesting their babies, or
kidnapping them and selling them to
slave traders. if you're going to bring your children with you when you leave the house,
for fuck's sake, don't let them run
rampant in strange
public places without checking on them frequently and keeping them
within sight.
no, the people in this
computer lab place entirely too much
faith in me. one of these days, i'm going to begin
stockpiling little children in the supply closet (i'll tell them we're playing
hide and go seek), and not giving them back. then we'll just see how they like that. i could have my own little army of
minions.. this could be fun.