I didn't get on the olympic team after I'd trained hard for four years! Have you ever seen training sessions for synchronized swimming? The ubiquitous pink swimming caps? The constant smiling? It's ugly I can tell you. And now, now, some people are calling saying "let's remove some sports from the olympics", citing synchronized swimming as a good sport get rid of. It makes me sick.

The reason I didn't make the team wasn't even a very good one. I'd understand if I was rubbish (I am actually very graceful and balletic in the water). It was simply that I'm invisible. I thought the effect of an invisible body (albeit be-capped with a lurid pink swimming cap) in the water would be both interesting and different. A body-shaped hollow in the pool, moving and splashing in time with the others. I wanted a whole team of invisible swimmers. But "No", they said. "The broadcasters say we won't be able to see you properly." Hah!

Hope they all drown.