I was promised flying cars

created by Shanoyu

(idea) by Shanoyu (1.9 y) (print) ? 4 C!s I like it! Mon Jul 03 2000 at 21:59:59

IT'S THE YEAR 2000, I WANT FLYING CARS, I WAS PROMISED FLYING CARS? WHY AREN'T THERE ANY FLYING CARS? DON'T WE NEED FLYING CARS? WE'RE IN THE YEAR 2000, AND WE DON'T HAVE ANY FLYING CARS. HOW CAN A CIVILIZATION SURVIVE IN THE YEAR 2000 AND NOT HAVE ANY FLYING CARS? I WANT FLYING CARS AND I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL WE HAVE FLYING CARS. YOU KNOW WHY WE DON'T HAVE FLYING CARS? BECAUSE OF SILLY, RIDICULIOUS BASTARDS LIKE YOURSELF, OH WE DON'T WANT THE HINDENBURG DISASTER ON OUR ROADWAYS AND HIGHWAYS, WE DON'T WANT GERMAN ATROCITIES IN OUR BASEMENT, WE DON'T WANT THE VARIOUS DEBATES ON THE PRONOUNCIATIONS OF AYN RAND, LINUX AND AND JOHN JAY, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN IT'S PRONOUNCED 'won way'? WON WAY TO HELL IF YOU ASK ME.

YOU KNOW WHY WE DON'T HAVE ANY FLYING CARS? BECAUSE OUR SCIENTISTS KEEP GETTING DISTRACTED BY FASCISTS WHO WOULD HAVE THEM MAKE DEBATES ON THE PRONOUNCIATIONS OF OBSOLETE ROMANTIC LANGUAGES AND SYSTEMS WHICH MEASURE HOW HOT SPICES LIKE TABASCO ARE. WE DON'T HAVE ANY FLYING CARS BECAUSE OF TABASCO AND AYN RAND, DAMMIT, DO YOU HEAR ME? IT'S BECAUSE OF AYN RAND WE DON'T HAVE ANY FLYING CARS. WE NEED FLYING CARS. WE CAN'T SURVIVE WITHOUT FLYING CARS. WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS AND WE WANT FLYING CARS AND WE WANT FLYING CARS RIGHT NOW. RIGHT THIS SECOND. AND IF YOU DON'T GIVE US FLYING CARS RIGHT NOW, THEN WE ARE GOING TO START AN ARMED REBELLION TO FORCE YOU TO GIVE US FLYING CARS, DAMMIT!

(idea) by ariels (4 d) (print) ? I like it! Thu Jul 13 2000 at 5:56:10

We don't have flying cars because of DMan.

No, wait, that's not right.

We don't have flying cars because of Saige.

Hmmm. But then everybody will say I'm unbalanced.

WE DON'T HAVE FLYING CARS BECAUSE OF THE SAIGE-DMAN CONSPIRACY

I hope that settles it.

(idea) by DMan (1.2 y) (print) ? I like it! Thu Jul 13 2000 at 6:09:08

MUHWAHAHAHAHAHA

Fools! Only DMan and his nefarious partner-in-crime, Saige, are capable of pulling off this evil scheme! We have the prototype in my basement! We pretend we are wrangling but in reality we control the fate of this energy-dependent, luxury-fixative world! Bow before us!

What are you doing, Saige? Why are you pointing that gun at me?

Only one can rule the world eh? Bring it on!

Thus begins the titanic battle for all eternity. Noded for your viewing pleasure!

(thing) by Randofu (1.8 y) (print) ? 1 C! I like it! Thu Oct 19 2000 at 21:18:42

Here's the deal. It's not that flying cars don't exist... They do! Complete with a VTOL system and a max speed of about 350 MPH... The question is, can the people handle it? The answer is most obviously no. People can't even handle cars that are secured by gravity, no fucking way are they going to be able to handle zooming around 70 feet over the road.

It's sad, but it's a truth we must face.

printable version
chaos

flying cars	Neon lights under your car do not make it look like it's floating	When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?	How to open a shrinkwrapped CD
John Jay	The funniest thing ever on Pinky and the Brain	VTOL	Favorite Everything quotes
I will REMOVE your "All your radical touching base are already occurred to the lesbian monkey puppy" philosophy on me if you don't eat my soy google balls, hatt-baby. Real or malarky?	Happy Discover Card! er, ..I mean New Year!!	I want my hovercar	10 Coolest Things About NJ
Science fiction clich�s	Ayn Rand	Fuckin' Jesus told me to betray the conspiracy	British Telecom
Ol' Dirty Bastard	I will REMOVE the fucking toilet seat if you don't shut up	Civilization	HoverTrousers
There should be laws requiring electric cars to make the Jetsons flying car noise	Skycar	The Purple People Eater	In the year 2000

No more writeups are being accepted for this node. And none will be accepted until someone explains how the lack of flying cars is connected with the green fuzz between EDB's toes and the average annual rainfall in West Bulgaria. If you feel you have something to add to this node, post it on your Scratch Pad and contact an editor.

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