This gathering is officially CAPPED... if you want to come please talk to me, but organizing for almost 80 people is rough, imposing a deadline is for my sanity! April 25th, 26th, 27th, and 28th, 2002 See new agenda! The BAP has traveled to your noder gatherings! We have roadtripped, we have stayed at cheesy hotels of doom, we have mutilated our cars, sacrificed our jobs, our families and our friends... We have seen almost every state east of the Mississippi!!! Time to pay some homage to OUR damn city! Yeah that means you suckah!
the final number: 70 noders 3 non noders 1 mystery guest and 1 ms. ninja-bong There is a usergroup for this event called nodahs if you are not on it, let me know now! And if you have an april birthday, the list is getting too big... But rest assured... there will be shots in your honor
DON'T FORGET YOUR ENTRANCE FEE!!! Yes, you must bring us a shot glass if you want in. No, you don't have to get drunk out of it, but... Yes, you must leave it for team tequila upon departure!
INFORMATION FOR j00!!! cahla's phone number: 617.290.6963 (cell) mail my phone at: 6172906963@messaging.sprintpcs.com 100 character limit! also: 781.874.0686 is my home number... my cell phone cuts out in my house occasionally... but try the cell first anyway cahla's address: 17 Emerald Street Medford, MA 02155 directions to cahla's:
Remember: Boston is the home of the Big Dig. What that means is that traffic here SUCKS and the roads are a mess. SIGNS ARE YOUR FRIEND. If you don't follow them you can get screwed really easy. So pay attention. If you get lost, don't turn around! A lot of times you can not get off an exit in town and get back on in the opposite direction! If you screw up, call! I live off Rte. 93 north of Boston. You need to get to this road. If you are coming in from the south, you will probably be coming in from Rte 95. Take Rte. 95 North to Rte. 93 North. That simple. If you are coming in from the west, you will probably be coming in from the Massachusetts Turnpike, IE: The Pike, otherwise known as Rte. 90. Take Rte. 90 East to Rte. 93 North. That simple. Once you get to Rte. 93 North, you will drive through the city, it's a short but brutal ride if you don't pay attention. The exit number you want is Exit 32. When you get off at Exit 32 you will deposited from the off ramp into a rotary. Follow the sign out of the rotary for Rte. 60 East towards Malden/Revere. Once you merge off that rotary you are on Rte. 60 headed east, otherwise known as Salem Street in Medford. From here you are 3 minutes away from my house. Follow straight along Rte. 60 for about 10 blocks. You will come to a small intersection with no lights and one unlabeled road off to your right. There will be a Dunkin Donuts on your left, and a white building labeled D.B. Mart as well as a Medford Bank on your right. Take that right onto the unlabeled Spring Street. Follow Spring Street for one block. You will see Emerald Street labeled on your left. Take that left onto Emerald Street. My house is three houses down on the right, #17, a red 3 story house with two doors. I am the LEFT door, name is on the mail slot. Please, oh please, do not ring number #15! That would be my landlords who will not be thrilled to have their doorbell rung at ungodly hours! Thankyouverymuch! Park anywhere you can find space. There is lots and lots of parking within that residential area. If you are going somewhere else or coming in some random way, talk to me for directions!
AGENDA!!! ::::: wednesday :::::airport pickups: Mitzi 2:37 PM, United -- cahla someone 11:31 PM (Delta) -- Chihuahua Grub ::::: thursday ::::: airport pickups: briiiiian 10:33 AM, Delta -- cahla Thursday Night Dancing!! With our extra-special-'cause-he-is-arriving-early guest... tandex Manray Cambridge, MA manrayclub.com 19+ to get in, 21+ to drink practically no dress code *** If you are planning on attending let me know! *** I will be securing places to crash for anyone who comes early... cahla · tandex · randir · indra363 · chihuahua grub · jaubertmoniker · mitzi · Infinite Burn · Sondheim · briiiiian · drunkenmonkey ::::: friday ::::: IF YOU ARE ARRIVING FRIDAY COME STRAIGHT TO CAHLA's HOUSE You will be picking up some supplies you will need for Saturday... airport pickups: Juliet 10:30 AM, South Station Bus Terminal -- ????? WonkoDSane 2:40 PM, American -- The Custodian herbman -- WORK, 4:30 -- ?? radlab0 AND karma_debt 5:50 PM, US Airways -- Illumina girlface 7:06 PM, United -- dann ModernAngel 10:30 PM, Delta -- donfreenut panamaus 10:40PM on Delta -- donfreenut road-tripping noders arrive all day... THE PLAN IS TO BUY MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF PIZZA, DRINK LOTS OF BEER and... VISIT WITH MS. NINJA-BONG WHILE PEOPLE ARRIVE ie: party at cahla's house until it gets too big should things get too cramped here, noders will travel to: Lanes and Games for bowling, pool, drinking... and whatever else you can find to do Travel back to sleeping arrangements for the night... ::::: saturday ::::: airport drop-offs: metacognizant AM South Station Bus Terminal -- drunkenmonkey yossarian 3:47 PM South Station Bus Terminal -- cahla jaubertmoniker 6:00 PM Work -- cahla ModernAngel 8:30 PM, Delta -- cab to airport Scavangah Hunt 12:00 Noon Boston Common details on the way... Prudential Skywalk by 6:00 PM · Last step of the Scavangah Hunt Noders meet at the top of the Prudential Building Noder Dinner Out 8:30 PM · Dinner, DEFINITELY Vinny Testas in Back Bay RESERVATIONS FOR 70 PEOPLE CONFIRMED!! The Menu: Appetizers: Bruschetta Caprese Fried Calamari Salad: Vinny's House Salad Entrées: Eggplant Parmigiana Baked Penne Gratinate Desserts: Café Latté Cheesecake Chocolate Bomba Info for me: Tim @ 617-262-6699, 8:30 PM, $19.95 + tax and 18% gratuity Scavangah Hunt Results will be tallied and winners announced after dinner PUB CRAWL 10-11:00 PM Start · Locations: These are the bars within walking distance from Vinny'sI will attempt to node as many as I can in the next few days... Bar Code · The Blue Cat Cafe · Bukowski's · The Cactus Club Charley's Saloon · Dad's Diner · McCarthy's · Pour House The Rattlesnake · Whiskey's · White Star Tavern You will have a T-Pass and people will be free to go wherever the want... but the T closes at 12:45 AM... people will be meeting back near Vinny's at 2:00 AM then head back to their places of sleep... ::::: sunday ::::: airport dropoffs: panamaus 12:20 PM on Delta -- dann (leaving at 10:30 AM) girlface 2:30 PM, United -- ?? karma debt 4:00 PM, US Airways -- ?? yossarian 4:00 PM, South Station -- ?? Juliet 5:15 PM, South Station -- ?? someone 5:30 PM, Delta -- ?? radlab0 6:20 PM, US Airways -- ?? E2 Iron Chef Cook-Off cobie vs. ccunning cobie's sous chef will be OH CHRIS and ccunning's is OH RADLAB arrive at cahla's at noon *** cash will be collected here then distributed to the chefs for the food budget *** Please prepare to donate a few bucks to the cause... in CASH so the chefs may shop with it! 1:00 PM · Secret Ingredient will be announced and chefs will go shopping 2:00 PM · Chefs will arrive back and start cooking 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM · targeted food time and winner announced! Noders depart... ??? ::::: monday ::::: airport dropoffs: WonkoDSane 9:00 AM, American -- cahla Mitzi 10:15 AM, United -- cahla briiiiian 9:35 AM Delta -- cahla
EVERYTHING ELSE!!!
THE LIST!!! Accommodations are listed here for definites!!! The accommodations themselves, though... are NOT definite! They can and probably will change! The other noders hosting people are: 1. cobie, drunkenmonkey and bommerman 2. Chihuahua Grub, jaubertmoniker, dann and Indra363 3. Orange Julius 4. The Custodian So far it looks like we can fit everyone at these places... If we start getting more people confirming to be here, more accommodations will be by: Illumina If you don't like where you are staying, let me know!
THIS NODE WILL BE UPDATED CONSTANTLY Check back often Last updated Wednesday 1:31 AM Eastern Time, April 10th, 2002.
To the BAP: to keep the nodegel clean and spiffy, if you have any comments you wish to add, msg me and throw the HTML on your scratchpad and I will add anything you have to say here! For when the time comes, wharfinger has politely asked all aftermath nodes to find their homes right here under this writeup if you feel you have had a profound BAP experience. dem bones has also asked me to inform you all that aftermath nodes will be included in the gathering nodes from (last week) now on. jaybonci Good luck, BTW. You're totally on crack for hosting a gathering, but hey, that's cool. jaybonci We love you to death for it. jaybonci So how many people are interested in the orgy? I mean do I get the industrial shaving cream, or only the "family fun pack"
cahla cobie ChihGrub HOTEL OJ own bed herbman custy mitzi monkey dann wonko jaybonci donfreenut jannie QXZ perdedor ladysun jm radlab0 sophiescat cowofdoom cowboy walter liha chris-o indra363 IB jocasta illumina PS chiisuta moxie ccunning czeano dmd uncleozzy PS +1 thefez czarkahn chad +1 cerrulean kaytay snowy PS +2 yru jenn tandex sondheim clampe hemos karmaflux dis karma debt dizzy CentriX jethro modernangel girlface katyana meta wren maus voidy guilded frame crux zot kendall fatalberttheta juliet sean pyrogenic aresds burnboy N-Wing briiiiian yossarian ailie
"KISS ME QUICK" -Anon xoxoxo The note I received at dinner.
Yes. I got wicked retahded. There is evidence. I have the dark circles under my eyes and the battle scars to prove it. Thank you Cahla and thank you Miller. Because of all of your hard work, we were boozed up, smoked out, wined and dined, bedded down and entertained for a whole weekend. They deserve our thanks, our money and our first born children.
". . . and a Butterfinger Mcflurry." -Crux, at McDonald's, in full view of the Vermont square dancing team (hubba hubba).
yru and I left from work at six, to abduct crux and bring him to BAP country (where the flavor is). Things were going well. Until we actually left. Foible one: We left the directions and phone numbers inside our workplace and had to detour to my apartment to get new copies. Foible two: We missed our exit twice. Foible three: We kept driving past chez crux. Foible four: We took a different route than planned and had to ask old codgers for directions. You've heard it. "Turn right at the old Johnson place, and hang another right at the brown dog. You can't miss it!"
We listened to hockey, we listened to music, and we talked about how math is hard. Once we were close, I called thefez to find out if the party was still jumping, which in fact it was. After nearly crashing the car because we were so tired, we realized we better get there quick. It was time to get our second wind and I was getting excited.
"Calling fives. It's not just a QXZ thing. Check the node!" -Walter, when I questioned the validity of the fives rule.
After finding the house, I got my hug on. Chihuahua Grub was my first victim. Then it went on and on. Meeting people (iDeath, Jethro Bodine, Karmaflux, Mitzi and others). Seeking out the people I couldn't wait to see again (too many to write here, you know who you are). Finding out that Cahla and Miller were still busy with details. Then I got a drink in each hand, a cigarette in my mouth and friends in my vicinity, and proceeded to party until the wee morning.
"No, but don't tell anyone I'm not coming." -Brassmule, when I asked whether or not he was coming. He showed up a few hours later.
The Team Yellow Experience A scavenger hunt. We didn't know what to expect, but there were beach buckets and sand trowels involved, so it had to be good. Cahla broke us up into teams, which for the most part were not the people you arrived with and not your usual buddies, and then we bid on BAP noders, using future points as cash.
Team Yellow consisted of: Myself, Phyllis Stein, tandex, moxie, Kenny, and panamaus.
Our team picked out The Custodian, for 250 points, and he was worth every point we spent. He knew the city like the back of his hand, and we made great speed on our quest for names, dates, pictures and wangs. We started with a nice lunch, courtesy of our guide. Over food, Team Yellow agreed to do whatever it took to win and I went over some tips for successful lifting.
"Paul Revere died erect" -Cemetery rubbing, by Moxie.
After the food and drink, the day consisted of walking and committing crimes. Crimes ranged from climbing onto public statuary to the theft of an actual copy of Touch the Puppy by Tandex. We handled dildos, scared the public by asking random walkers if they had heard of Brandon and Ricky and got really old people to make the devil sign. If we saw another team, we talked trash (well, I did). Team Yellow managed to get all but two of the required items, and a good bit of the booty, using super secret robot lasers. Or walking real fast. And on top of that we ate a fucking McFlurry!!
"Oh my god! This is like the third time you've mentioned spies! Now you're just fucking with me." -czeano, after I made what I think was the first spy comment of the evening. But I could be wrong.
Dinner that night was fun, and, yes, we all got seated pretty close together. Which lead to "mail". The paper on the table was quickly converted into insults and love letters and surreal comments. I'd like to thank the person who was kind enough to pass me a note, when I complained that I hadn't gotten any mail.
"When I asked them to do that, I never thought it would actually happen." -Me, when Karmaflux and JethroBodine rubbed their bare chests together, fulfilling my dreams of homoeroticism at a meet.
The quote above pretty much sums up the after-dinner Saturday night. There was supposed to be a pub-crawl. But that doesn't sound as appealing after walking four hours. So we congregated back at Cahla's and had a replay of Friday night. It was a little more relaxing because we'd all gotten to know each other better.
Sunday was the cook off, but I know nothing about cooking, except it was all awesome. My thanks and props to the men and women who made my meal. We napped and played games and made music. And took our leave.
The Random Stuff:. . .experiencing Karmaflux's super sexy handshake. . . Infinite Burn and Sondheim showing it to the fundamentalists. . . Cahla says "You finally brought your own cigarettes!". . . climbing the scaffold with Jethro Bodine. . . .grabbing Briiiiian's ass, ninja style . . . QXZ keeping the party going in his own special way. . . Walter popping my wang on the nude dude. . . being kissed by moxie. . . donfreenut said "That was you?". . . the mystery of crux's mom. . . .checking out she-male porn with czeano. . . the clampe-fez man-wall. . . tandex asking "What happened to Team Yellow?". . . Hemos saves the day. . . the nicest sleeping accommodations ever and last and best of all, getting to talk to witchiepoo on the telephone!
"Why don't I ever bring my fucking notebook downstairs when people are saying the cool stuff?" -Cahla, in the basement. I don't think she ever brought down the notebook.
Let's face it. Writing aftermath nodes is hard, especially after a big event. You are introduced to too many people in the space of a few hours and at the same time you're drunk or whatever. When you leave it's a surreal train of hugs and goodbyes. I haven't written here about a quarter of the people I liked, or funny things that were said.
Didn't see your name? A rose by any other. . . Don't worry; I suck at names. But I can see your face. You turned to me and smiled and told me a story. And I'll remember. Next time I see you, please do it again.
I have not been at this long, only a few months. Some of you have years on me, so maybe I'm not the one to be saying these things. Maybe I am, because whoever comes in later is likely going to have my point of view. But here's what needs to be said:
This thing is growing at an alarming rate.
Biggest gathering ever. Seventy noders. All crammed into one house, at a couple points. Shoulder to shoulder in the basement, the kitchen, the hall outside the bathroom. On the couch and the front and back porch. Noderland. It alarms me because I wonder what the hell these things are going to look like in two years, or even five.
But it doesn't worry me. And here's why.
This weekend, I figured out what noders do better than anything else, better than anyone else. What makes them noders. The game that the noders have mastered, that the rest of the world could stand to learn from them if only for a day, is this:
Adaptation.
Versatility, breeding improvisation. We all have specialties, but none of us would be as entranced by our surroundings if surprise wasn't our ultimate high. You have to assume the one next to you knows something you don't. You can't possibly cover all the bases, you can't be truly prepared, so all you can do is make sure those around you are equally unprepared for what you're about to do. Show your understanding of the system and don't just make it work, make it better.
How it plays out in real life is like this:
-----
Not so much a scavenger hunt as a goddamned quest. Last night all we cared about was getting high and laughing and now we are not just sleuths but athletes, running to get it all done in time. Of course there is still more drugs and laughter but the point is we all embrace a new way to get there when the old one is easier.
We are seated at Asgard-length dinner tables, some 25 to a rectangle. The tablecloth is covered with huge squares of paper, 'cause, you know, noders are messy. And I can't remember who did the first one, but someone tears off a scrap to pass a note, like you did in middle school, and someone else responds, and a third copies. Fast forward an hour, and we don't want to put down the pens to pick up the forks. We see a new game and we're all game.
(I got an anonymous one that said, simply, "Dinner isn't the same without you." Hey Jay, can you finish that patch for us to read nodes in the author's handwriting? Then I'll figure it out. Thanks duder.)
We're back on the steps in front of the Pru. It's dark, and lights in the ground make creepy upside-down shadows on faces. It is decided that there must be a wedding, to commemorate last year's, and so Bart and Laurel, both of whom live nowhere fucking near here, bravely step forward to make the commitment. And as Cliff makes a speech about what this love means and will always mean, suddenly it's not a joke anymore. I was more genuinely moved than I have been at weddings of blood relatives, in churches. I look behind me and sixty-five noders are standing there solemn. Passersby ask us to explain and we tell them hilarious lies. This is our dangerous psychotic cult; you stay out.
No matter what happens, drama or trauma, fight or flight, we can deal. But we all work to keep it cool. We know all about karma, and we are cyclically selfish. We know that what is freely given will be returned a thousandfold.
SECTION OF RANDOMITY
"Hi, I'm Walter." hemos shakes my hand. "Hi, I'm QXZ." hemos shakes his hand. "Hi, I'm JayBonci." hemos bear hugs him. "Can I hump your leg?"
Faces always fade from my memory but voices (as the ninja says) become inextricably linked to writings. For instance, wren and Mitzi's words will now have that Southern shading, while karmaflux and j-bo's become low, dry, and deadpan. The deductions I make about you people are consistently right; the assumptions consistently false. I don't mind. I love being shown the true why.
FatAlbertTheta is a friend of mine from high school I had not seen in eight years. Neither of us knew the other was a noder. We did the standard catch-up talk, but mostly we just stood around chuckling.
Wren is the deranged evil little sister I never had. She is endlessly fascinated by porn and enjoys stabbing boys. Underneath this-- no, not under, alongside-- she is a vulnerable ball of sweetness. So all of you assholes being mean to her better fucking quit it. You're just jealous because she can write better than you, and I bet she's younger too.
The ways in which Carla went all out to provide the good times cannot be overstated. I glanced at the fancy clue scrolls and said, "Ah, she just bought these at a tourist trap." Then I noticed the yarns about Olde Captain Fez and the Butt Pirate Miller. Imagination was out in full force, and was responded to in kind.
I should have known that Christa would put us all to shame at the scavenger hunt. She's had so much practice with those damn puzzles. I acted like a bit of a dick when I discovered the degree of her success-- this, again, can be chalked up to jealousy. She got an extra hug on the way out.
My team lost pretty badly, but I'll never forget the way rival Mitzi said "You suck!" when I waltzed into Davey Jones' Locker and opened the exact right treasure chest under her nose. We both knew she meant the opposite.
(She, I must detour to say, is a belle without equal. Calm and dignified yet smoothly silly. Sam, wherever you are, you're a lucky dog.)
So as I hugged and handshook my way to the door, how could I not get depressed, because there was still an infinity of witticisms unspun. Once I get used to this, how do I go back to my own boring little week? Guess that's why so many noders move in with each other.
Cheers.
You may already know this, but I've attended a lot of noder gatherings. I keep on going to them because I want to and because I can. In that regard, fortune has truly smiled upon me. It's mind-boggling, really. I've nearly lost count of them all, but then again, I wasn't really counting them to begin with... I try to count the people I've met instead. Because Everything2 is made of people. And let me tell you, we are a truly remarkable colony of human beings: writers, artists, cooks, geeks, poets, lovers, pranksters, pioneers and adventurers. Sometimes I believe that this place could be named Everyone instead of Everything... it might describe what E2 truly is just a bit better.
And I've said it many times before: I don't do aftermath writeups. And generally speaking, that's true. But a search of my nodeshare will prove that I have written a few of them, and dammit, this makes one more. But you know what? Fuck it. I have experienced a magnificent day that I will remember for decades — maybe even for the rest of my life. And it isn't just "daylog material." It means so much more than that. It applies directly to this place, came into being as a direct result of this place, and defines (in a sense) what many of us are all doing here (though we didn't know it would come to this when we started). And in spite of my personal policy against it and my professional Editorial abivalence about it, I am about to lighten up for a moment and tell you why.
The Gruesome Details
Surprise! There are (almost) no gruesome details, but the basics are thus: I flew to Boston, got picked up by donfreenut and Chihuahua Grub at Logan, went to cahla's house and got drunk, went to sleep later. Woke up the next morning, walked, rode the T, walked, gathered with noders at the Pru, walked, drank, went on a very fun and silly day-long scavenger hunt encompassing some of Boston's most historic landmarks, walked, drank some more, walked, had a very expensive dinner with some truly delightful people, walked, drank even more, etc. (Noder gatherings can be great exercise!) And when it was all said and done, I met another dozen or so amazing noders I had never met before. I woke up on Sunday to be delivered back to Logan by dann, and flew back home. "Blah, blah, blah." It will be documented in this node by the others, in various forms and from various points of view, including all the great stuff I missed out on because I had to leave early. And that's all very, very cool to read, but it's not my writing style. Because I just don't think I can do justice to the experience.
As I've said elsewhere, all the details (gruesome or not) can't really be adequately conveyed in writing. At least, not by me. I suppose I could write lengthy prose about how magnificently beautiful the weather was (surely no more perfect a Spring day in New England has ever graced this world); how because it was Earth Day, we got to ride the T for free; that the Boston Red Sox pitched a no-hitter that day in Fenway Park and that I was THERE to see the rejoicing fans on the street; how the very streets and parks and golden dome-topped architecture of Boston's historic buildings were breathtaking at every turn; how I was lucky enough to gaze out upon a living sea of noders larger than any I had ever seen before...
I could go on forever, because every passing moment was magical. It was all so beautiful and memorable; a waking dream, in every sense. It was far greater than my ability to convey it all in words. And that is what I want to tell you about. Because as amazing as this noder gathering was for me, it was in a different sense quite ordinary. In fact, it was a highly concentrated and actualized sample of what every noder gathering should be (and with few exceptions, has been). I've been to a lot of noder gatherings, folks. And let me tell you something: This one was perfect.
The Perfect Noder
While I was on vacation in California recently, somebody made a half-joking remark about how I was on a search for The Perfect Noder. Everybody in the room got a good laugh out of that, especially me. But it got me to thinking: Am I really searching for the "perfect" noder? Is there even such a person? What is it that compels me to attend as many of these noder gatherings as I can? I was looking directly at nate while I considered this, but he simply grinned back at me like the Cheshire Cat that he is. I think Ouroboros offered to make us all another drink at that point, and I quickly forgot my quandary.
And then, two weeks later, I found myself sitting at the bar next to The Custodian in a place called Whiskey's, about a dozen yards or so up the street from where the Finish Line of the Boston Marathon is located, and I had an epiphany. I have some of The Custodian's words of wisdom to thank for it happening, but the realization was thus: I know who The Perfect Noder is. And I was so dumbstruck that I could hardly speak. Of course, I was pretty tired too, and I hope Custy doesn't think I was rude by being so quiet for so long. Shortly thereafter, a lot of other noders found their way to that bar, and while I was transfixed by this new understanding, their interaction with each other served to prove my insight was true in a way that was incredibly beautiful.
You are the Everything
So what was it about this particular noder gathering that made all the pieces fall into place? Alas, there is no simple answer. Every moment is a colorful tile, forming a mosaic of brilliant, reflective memories that you can only give meaning to once there are enough of them in place. Here's a very short list of semi-life-altering items for you to consider (in no particular order):
Life, the Universe, and Everything
If you take only one thing from this missive, let it be this. Everything2 isn't just a web site. It might look that way on the surface, but trust me when I tell you that it is much, much more. It is made up of real, live, breathing, feeling human beings. It's a community in the most literal sense of the word. We are a tribe, with common goals and customs, rights, privileges and interests, all living in the same virtual place under the same laws and regulations. And this is a realization that I've made several times before, as have many others. But something happened to me on April 27, 2002 that I will take with me on my continuing journey through the evolution of E2. Because I now know who The Perfect Noder is.
If you were at this gathering, it's you.
If you've ever attended any noder gathering, it's you.
If you've ever longed to attend a noder gathering but couldn't, it's you too.
Because The Perfect Noder is any noder who understands that this game we are all playing here isn't just a game. All the writing and reading and voting and messaging we do here is simply a beautiful and elaborate technical means to an end. And that end is making personal connections with other people — people who touch our lives and lay bare its meaning. It's why we write, and why we play, and why we travel to make communion with one another whenever we can.
It's love, basically. And you can't get much more perfect than that.
