| I remember when Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, was on the Tonight
Show. He was unfortunately relegated to the role of Jack Hanna, which is a
shame since the guy is an interesting speaker. But this isn't about Steve,
this is about Jay Leno.
See, Mr. Leno is apparently very enamored with Australian accents. He finds
them funny or something. So every time Steve would say something with emphasis,
Jay would say the same thing back to him, as a question, in a truly awful
nasal, throaty voice. It was mocking. Example:
Steve: "And these guys use their claws for digging..."
Jay: "They use their CLAWS for DIGGING!?"
Steve: "Yeah, mate."
Of course, Steve was probably thinking, "Why didn't I bring the rattlesnake
out here?"
This was not the only time this happened, either. Russell Crowe was on a few
weeks later, and Leno was right back at it (it didn't seem to matter that Russell Crowe was from New Zealand). I could hardly believe these guys
were letting this dorky, huge-chinned smartass get away with infantile
schoolyard mocking just because they were on TV. It wasn't a question of their
public image -- these days, anyone can get away with telling a talk show host
that they're being a jerk. Nobody really likes Jay Leno anyway.
So I propose that Russell Crowe and Steve Irwin round up a bunch of hairy,
irate, Victoria Bitter-drinking hooligans, hijack an Australian navy destroyer, and
go take care of some business. | 
