July 2, 2008

(log) by Whiskeydaemon (10.6 hr) Wed Jul 02 2008 at 4:53:34

When I lived in my old home town, before I left it for good and became a wanderer - I fell in with some rather creative types, some fantastic artists.

They had a performance art band, mostly composed of circuit-bending dumpster divers who recruited gomi and pressed it into service to make background noise, elaborate gutter-tech costuming, and a semi-naked vegan shaven headed girl prone to screaming with a Hello Satan tattoo on her thigh.

The girl turned out to have had a rumoured troubled past including drugs and of sex for money. The guy was the son of a famous family who owned a chain of stores in the area, disowned for being gay and interested in acrylic paint and garbage and not the family business.

But I liked him. He had a disturbed and disturbing vision, his paintings were like Pink Floyd animation crossbred with Marilyn Manson long before MM ever showed up. I showed him computers and the Internet and he suggested strange and fascinating subjects to look up - he brought me into a world of bizarreness and freakdom and I brought him into technology as an enabling device.

We parted ways. I later saw the girl in Montreal, where she'd moved to do art, and was somewhat successful. She revealed that the guy had been gaybashed into a coma, and was unaware of his prognosis.

Some years later I saw her again online, and asked how they were both doing. She said that he had become female, and gave me enough information so I could track her down. I read her blog and shared some emails - a tale of sex work to raise the funds for drugs and surgery, realising that she'd never pass the psychological evaluation to become a woman via legitimate medical channels (they do like their patients to be white, middle class, and fond of Laura Ashley), and finally going the black market route in a warehouse in West Virginia.

The blog continued - she'd found work making metal items for fetish and alternative type companies.

And then one day she stopped the blog. Posted photos of her apartment, cleared out, and a farewell message.

I didn't know whether she was alive, dead, or worse.

I'd heard some rumour - a hobo or travelling lifestyle, an early grave. Nothing conclusive. I sat in the middle of the occasional search like a spider, hoping that one thread or other would hum and I'd find out where this gentle, kind, gifted and abused soul had finally landed. I made a mention of this in the catbox once and received a snide kick in the throat judgment that it was all about scoring some kind of alternative/cool points.

And then, after I finally stopped looking, I notice this photo essay on American vagabonds.

American Vagabonds.

Out of some kind of "protecting the innocent" I will not divulge WHICH ONE of these is my former friend, nor her old or new full name, just as I have not outed the singer whose life story as I understood it may or may not have been correct.

I've seen several comments in several places about these people in this shoot: slumming rich kids, scorn, the suggestion that said people will one day go back to mommy and daddy and finish up their final year of school and go into middle managment. That is certainly NOT the fate of my friend.

I have the Death tarot card on my right shoulder, the symbol or death and destruction spinning the wheel back through into rebirth and change. The girl I knew (I will honour her life-threatening surgery in a back alley with the appropriate gender) was, when I saw her last as a man, increasingly obsessed with the decay part. She caught and ate a live pigeon (on video) naked, though she was otherwise vegan. She'd abandoned all semblance of personal hygiene and taking care of her own health, eating food off the side of the road that had been discarded or casually picking up a two thirds finished drink in a food court left behind, a seemingly homeless person in a cheap Chinatown apartment whose landlord was fine with her bringing garbage into the place because he never had to kill the rats or roaches in the place no other tenant would tolerate.

And now, she's living in a train car at the potential mercy of the psychopaths who prey on the tramps who ride the rails, or in clearly unfit or homebuilt shelter. Knowing her and what I've heard, she doesn't stay in one place long.

There's something about her and what she's doing that speaks to me deeply, a struggle between acceptance and self-hate driven by anger at the world and a desire to rebel and change, to taunt people into punching her. Dei Gratia Sum Quod Sum.

I don't pretend the way I would live is everyone's way - I know that she's simultaneously living how she wants but also from a position that, in the words of a Texan, "ain't quite right". I saw that in a confrontation on Elgin St. that resulted in a solid punch that opened up her eyebrow, that we broke up further and that the singer girl defused by interposing herself between me and the guy who hit the now-homeless drifter before I flattened him, potentially starting a six on two brawl.

My parents would hate that I'm bi, if they knew. My ex-wife would gloat and blame that for our marriage going south, and not the two-to-tango death by a thousand cuts it went through. I have friends who would take a VERY macho and VERY dim view to impulses I'm at peace with.

Yes, at peace with. I stood in the midst of a crowd flying their rainbow freak flag high this past weekend and accepted myself, finally. But I can't help but think about the words of a redneck former friend who simply said, when I stopped his anti-gay rant with a quiet admission of my own, "I hope you're doing this for the right reasons."

He's no right to judge me, and I'm not going to judge you either, Amber. But wherever you are, however you are, I do hope you're doing this for the right reasons, and that you're at peace. It's hard to see you in those photos, but then again, I somehow understand.

But we're in our later 30s. The streets are no place to get into your 40s and 50s. The teens and 20something kids can decide to renew their lives and change themselves. I can't help but worry you'll finally have painted yourself into a corner where the change won't lead to rebirth, but just to a hard, lonely and destitute life.

(event) by gate (15.2 hr) Wed Jul 02 2008 at 18:02:40

Several years ago when I still considered myself a democratic socialist (and a strong supporter of independent labor unions), I wrote an article in support of strikers at GM during Independence Day.

The first comment I received about the article was, "This sounds like an anarcho-syndicalist treatise." That was the first time I ever heard of the term. I looked it up. I had never seriously read much about anarchism before that point. It made me wonder if the American revolutionaries were anarcho-syndicalists without knowing it - or if the early anarcho-syndicalists had taken their inspiration from the American Revolution.

 


When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the economic bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all women and men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Corporations are instituted among Women and Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the employed. That whenever any Form of Corporation becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Corporation, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Corporations long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Corporation, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Unions; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Corporation. The history of the present Executive of General Motors John F. Smith, Jr. is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these Unions. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Unions to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained, and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in a Union, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Unions repeatedly, for opposing with righteous firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Union powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the Company remaining in the meantime exposed to all the dangers of dissolution from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these Unions; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Organization of Unemployed; refusing to pass others to encourage their employment hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Companies.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their campaign finances.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies, without the consent of our unions.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For protecting them by a mock Trial from punishment for any Terminations which they should commit on the Workers of these Unions:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases of the benefits of Trial by Peer Jury:
For transporting us beyond States to be tried for pretended offences:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Unions:
For suspending our own Unions, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Corporation here by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our forests, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of paramilitary Mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized company.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Union, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited internal insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Scab Savages, whose known rule of warfare is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes, faiths, races and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms. Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our deunionized brethren.

We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us.
We have reminded them of the circumstances of our organization and assembly here.
We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence.

They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the United Unions of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by the authority of the good People of these Assemblies, solemnly publish and declare.

That these United Assemblies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent Companies; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Wall Street Crown,

and that all corporate connection between them and the State of General Motors is and ought to be totally dissolved;

and that as Free and Independent Companies, they have full Power to levy Security, conclude Mergers, contract Alliances, establish Employment,

and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Companies may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

 


Rereading this now, I should have added "endeavoured to co-opt and bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Scab Savages" - these "savages" were, after all, not part of the oppressive class, but rather used as tools of oppression simply because they too were seeking a decent life.

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