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Jumpers for goalposts

created by iain

(idea) by Albert Herring (3.4 hr) (print)   ?   2 C!s I like it! Sun Dec 09 2001 at 10:21:58

Key element of a broad catchphrase-like structure elaborated by the character Ron Manager, played by Paul Whitehouse in the Fast Show in a series of sketches depicting half-time and post-game studio summaries from TV football coverage, who would invariably launch into a rambling and completely incoherent trip into nostalgia for some long-lost Deep England scene of "Small boys in the park ... jumpers for goalposts ...":

Cor. You know, isn't it? Mmm? Whither the father and son, cheering from the terraces? Only yesteryear? Rattle in hand? Good natured applause for the opposing team? Half-time? Peanuts! Peanuts! Rhubarb! Whither the peanuts of yesteryear. I mean, do we have a rosy view of the past? Isn't it? Cheery milkmen, vicars on bicycles? Huh! Luncheon meat, Bartlett pear halves? Laughing policemen? Clip round the ear? Move along, son! Thruppenny bits? Small boys? Grazed knees? Hmm? Hu-hoo! Witch hazel! Ouch! Ooh! Kiss it better, mummy! Mmm? You know, isn't it? Aww. Mind you, at least these days we've got Baywatch, haven't we? Har.
(The Fast Show, series 1, episode 5)

Subsequently used as the title of a Sky TV sports comedy panel game, in which Whitehouse appeared playing the same role.

For confused foreigners, "jumpers" here refers to knitted outer upper body garments, and the phrase as a whole to the youthful proclivity for marking a makeshift goal for an ad hoc garden/playground/park game of football with piles of discarded clothing.


printable version
chaos

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