Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

Kids aren't cute; they just do stupid things

created by Templeton

(thing) by Templeton (4.2 wk) (print)   ?   2 C!s I like it! Mon Apr 10 2000 at 3:38:53

A few years up until I went off to college, my father managed a condo on the beach and I was 13 or so. In the off season, there were few kids to play with on the island. The off season was 9 months out of the year.

The condo was only 7 stories high and overlooked the beach. It too, was empty most of the year. We moved every 3 or 4 years around on that island all during my childhood , so I saw it as my duty to investigate each new dwelling, each new apartment with its back alleys, creaky porches, and barren city blocks. It only took me a month at the condos to discover the garbage chute that ran through all 7 floors and collected in a dumpster on the ground level.

Getting stuck in a garbage chute just wasn't creative enough for me , so I ventured to the top floor to inspect where the chute began. Inside the little room and above the chute's door, there was a short ladder that led to a crude flap of a window sized door . It was padlocked. Hmm. My dad had all the keys to every lock in this building.

I quickly rummaged through my dad's office until I found the key marked "roof", and ambled back upstairs. We were supposed to be meeting some friends of the family's for dinner that night, but I figured I had time .

I climbed the ladder and sat on the ledge of the door, fumbling the key into the lock without any light except what was coming through the sides of the door. Everything I touched was slick and soft like driftwood , I guess from the salt air.

The roof was flat with no guardrails or divider between it and the edges of the building. It was nothing special, and I didn't plan to be up there for long anyway, so I turned back to the door. As I did, a gust of wind pulled it shut, and there was no knob on the outside.

I yanked with my fingers around the edges of the door to no avail. I imagined that the tongue and groove latch was well sutured, and that the soft wood was creating a nice fusion.

I peered over the side where all the railings were below, the opposite of the oceanside . I was thinking if I was brave enough , I could dangle over the side and swing my body until the inertia carried me under and onto the 7th floor's porch.

Then I thought of the oceanside's porches, the balconies to the individual condos. There, all I'd have to do would be jump down; they had no cover. But then I'd have to break through some poor retired man's glass patio door and even if it was empty, I wasn't prepared to explain that to my dad.

So I thought of the wimpiest way out, while I waited for my parents to eventually wonder where I was. Being the only child , I was often searched for after about an hour. I began to hurl loose pieces of ply wood that were on the roof, trying to aim for the windows of our own apartment, thinking if someone saw wood flying by, they'd at least look up.

My dad finally came out and looked up to see the little dot of my red face peering off the side of the roof. He unlatched the door and I followed him downstairs; neither of us spoke.

We didn't get to go out to dinner that night, and my father didn't say a word to me. My father never laid a hand on me when I was growing up, but he was the size of father that scared other children . All he did was yell at me, and loud. Later that night, my mother told me he was so terrified that he could barely speak at all.


printable version
chaos

I look better when I am wet Chilling cruelty of children Why oh why did the black crayon always die first? Putting a match out in your mouth
White Pride For Kids Kissing Dutch kids Winners don't do drugs, they just sell them Assimilate your attractive cousin into Everything
%20 A picture drawn by my friend's younger brother Products that shoot flames The styrofoam packing peanuts are going to eat me!
Could a baby eat another baby? Baby, the other other white meat Ayn Rand just doesn't work for me Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
Jakob Dylan has all your fucking money, kid! Babies won't crawl off cliffs I had a really good time tonight Precious Moments figurines
neko Creepy Susie and Thirteen Other Tragic Tales for Troubled Children µ-Ziq The City of Lost Children
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
Things you could have written:
Old Peculier
Chocolate
The Great Wall of China
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
anosognosia
Editor Log: August 2007
My microwave can stop time
Crimping Cat-5
Pernicious denial
Spanish Flu
Peter died clean
Manfred von Richthofen
Prostitution in the Victorian Era
New Writeups
Wuukiee
Highly ornamental cultivars of brambles still have as many thorns as their wild counterparts(idea)
TheDeadGuy
Editor Log: May 2008(log)
everyday j.Lo
pray do not molest them(thing)
ammie
Bands Who Take Their Names from Eighteenth-century English Poetry and Prose(idea)
shaogo
Under My Thumb(review)
ammie
Rock On(person)
The Custodian
The Dresden Files(thing)
Ouzo
PETA becomes you, a proposed future(fiction)
Ereneta
Stone Soup, Part Two(fiction)
jjen
Sorrier than I ever thought I would be(personal)
locke baron
Moskva class antisubmarine cruiser(thing)
Wuukiee
May 15, 2008(idea)
locke baron
Kuznetsov class aircraft carrier(thing)
Adaptive Child
Annie's garden salsa(recipe)
Simulacron3
Zig-Zag(thing)
This affordable entertainment brought to you by The Everything Development Company