MS Break-Up-Letter Wizard

gender/persuasion of relationship
(male-female, female-male, male-male, female-female)
indescretions/reasons
(short attention span, infidelity, new infatuation, ect.)
level of sincerity
(genuine-patronizingly sarcastic)
general emotion
(apologetic, angery, mornfull, ect.)
attribution of blame
(full acceptance, partial acceptance, neutral,
partial blame on recipient, full blame on recipient)

Complete survey of questions and you can print out, or E-mail your very own personalized break-up-letter.
MICROSOFT BREAK-UP-LETTER WIZARD
because, their probably not worth your time or effort anyway.

Dear __{choose one: stockholder/employee/customer}__:

As a result of the verdict in the Justice Department's Anti-trust case, Microsoft is being split into __{fill in number}__ companies, as follows:

__{fill in description of the split that is ultimately chosen}__

__{fill in description as appropriate}__

Sincerely,

__{choose one: Bill Gates/Steve Ballmer/fill in other name}__
President and CEO, __{fill in name of split company}__

Use the unix command line break up utility brkup instead.

Advantages of brkup include

• break up from the console!
• combine with xargs and pipe to break up with multiple partners at once!
• SGML output for easy conversion to your favourite format!
• brkup is GPLed so you can break up and support free software !

I seriously hope that no-one would break up with a significant other in any way except face to face.

Of course, on second thought, you probably don't care any longer...

Do you want to:

(o) Tell them to stop smothering you with their ambitions until you feel you no longer have any freedom

(o) Tell them that their weird kinky fantasies involving sticks of butter and hamsters no longer get you going

(o) Tell them you are no longer attracted to them

(o) Tell them you're sleeping with their best friend

Phrases which are included in the 'auto-complete' feature

• I cannot continue living this lie.
• I feel like I need more space to myself.
• Every time I see you, I get an uncontrollable rash.
• You don't deserve a jerk like me.
• I am such a jerk for doing this.
• I'm going to regret this when I'm sober
• I want my money back (and don't forget to give me back my black t-shirt)