Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

Sex for Dummies

created by root

(idea) by Netman (7 y) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Sat Nov 13 1999 at 14:40:53

Sex for Dummies is an "x" for Dummies book that instructs the incredibly ignorant on such matters as foreplay, sexual positions, hygiene and etiquette. You may think that this is possibly the most stupid and useless book ever written. But I knew a guy who owned this book. And he needed it. (The book never helped him actually get laid, but the quality of his rejections improved)

(thing) by moJoe (3 mon) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Mon Feb 28 2000 at 13:07:27

Don't get me wrong; I love Dr. Ruth. She is one swingin old lady but...

Sex isn't for dummies...

That's sort of why evolution came about. Soon we shall swim in mediocrity as our gene-pool is over exposed to the harmful rays of stupidity. Let the dumb die off, or interbreed with them selves until they revert back to primates. Why must we help them bumblingly pollute our children's world with their inept offspring?

Hrm, well I suppose somebody has to make my tacos... Automatronics cannot come soon enough.

(idea) by DaVinciLe0 (6.2 d) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Thu Dec 07 2000 at 20:48:01

A true service to humanity would be to sell a book called "Sex for Dummies" whose pages contain a complete, detailed manual giving precise, idiot-proof instructions for refinishing hardwood floors, or deep-sea fishing, or some such thing. We all know dummies shouldn't be having sex. If we can get them to read this book and end up doing something productive, all the while believing that whatever activity they're participating in is in fact sex, we'll keep them from multiplying and they won't feel left out around the water cooler on Mondays bragging about the great sex they had this weekend.

Better yet, the manual should contain instructions on microwave oven repair, or some other activity that through irradiation or other means serves to sterilize any who follow the instructions. That way, it becomes a method of reimplementing natural selection as well.

Okay, so maybe really it's unnatural deselection, but who are you to judge?


printable version
chaos

Items of clothing men find inexplicably alluring Make Penis Fast! Sexual position Having sex in the shower ought to be outlawed
Tips for having sex in an elevator Bumper stickers about kids who beat up honor students Running to 3D Porn Timid virgins make dull company
Things to remember when buying new underwear Walked in on you having sex When having sex in Binary foreplay
The 'Time to make the donuts' guy The right way to take a bath When having sex in ancient Rome When having sex in Germany
The Sunday Night Sex Show Smack My Bitch Up Masturbation unnatural selection
Dr. Ruth Final meal requests You may call me R.J., you may call me Ray When having sex in Poland
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help


cooled by Fruan

Cool Staff Picks
Things you could have written:
Dada
G.I. Joe Public Service Announcements
Reclaim your sexuality
George S. Patton
MiG-25 Foxbat
She is in the heartbeat you hear around you, listen
Schlieffen Plan
lawnjart
fish ladder
Osama bin Laden
Weird headless death cult of writer apostles
Charlie Chaplin
Working in a greenhouse is sometimes as much fun as you think it might be.
New Writeups
Mannerisky
second language(essay)
aneurin
British Monomarks(idea)
FrankThomas
How and why do we (humans) have culture?(essay)
lee_cad
Isaac(person)
kalen
downvota(poetry)
Andrew Aguecheek
Wstfgl(thing)
ncc05
overheard at IHOP(event)
calgon
Bottomless(poetry)
lismaraxt
Ice Theory of The Origin of Life(idea)
allthetime
Apple Cinnamon Suicide(idea)
Lucy-S
shovelglove(idea)
Adaptive Child
Mexican secret sauce(recipe)
Adaptive Child
nacho libre(recipe)
TheLady
Iron Man(review)
Scaevola
Risk in the Roman law of sale(idea)
Everything 2 is brought to you by the letter C and The Everything Development Company