Smite heathens or have a beer?

When did we turn all the prophets into raving madmen? What if Elijah and John the Baptist and Isaiah and all those guys weren't really loincloth-wearing, filthy-bearded, spittle-ejecting, wild-eyed random sidewalk lunatics?

What if they were fat, jolly, mellow guys who'd just as soon knock back a few beers with their buddies as they would strike a heathen army dead?

After all, the Bible says Jesus' first miraculous sign was to make 180 gallons of wine for a party!