This product was tested on cute, furry animals with big, sad eyes

...contains genetically modified material, was constructed by slave labourers in China who were whipped constantly during the process, is non-biodegradable and will actually stop other things from biodegrading, contains more CFCs than you could possibly imagine, is not FAA aproved (because it will make any aeroplane it come with in 100 metres of cease to exist) and will most likely cause cancer in yourself, your mother, and anyone that you ever look at ever again.

• FIT Fruit and Vegetable Wash (Procter & Gamble Inc.)
  (My mother bought a bottle, guileless and vulnerable consumer that she is.)
  Says non-toxic all over the bottle (good thing too: it's a wash for food!) So far the self-test spray on the tongue proves this claim right (no taste either).
  

  A new product (FIT) to counteract the effects of old products (pesticides)? Can P&G manufacture a slide for this new slippery slope, too?

• Step One Toothbrush Cleanser (Harpp Industries Inc.)
  (Seen in a neighbour's bathroom)
  A spray-on toothbrush cleanser. The label says it kills up to 95% of common contaminants found on toothbrushes that are not removed with "normal" water cleansing. Meant to be sprayed on the toothbrush prior to cleaning teeth.
  

  Why, why, why not just get a new toothbrush, if this sort of thing worries you? Anyone who can afford to buy this ridiculous product can certainly afford a new toothbrush every few weeks.