Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

embarrassing memory

created by Noether

(idea) by Noether (3 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Wed Oct 11 2000 at 20:01:23

My face is pressed to prickly grass, the sun is an orange glow through my closed eyes. Around me a soft rippling of conversations, children shouting a long way off. Relaxed.

Out of nowhere a vivid memory. I'm kissing a girl clumsily. Later we're in the kitchen drinking coffee and she says Were you trying to french kiss me? The awful, unbearable embarrassment seeps out of the memory like lava. I burn. As memory "me" mumbles No I involuntarily shout No! You idiot!.

My eyes are open, the gentle surrounding conversations have stopped and everyone is looking at me. An embarrassing memory.


(idea) by Capn (2.3 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) Wed Oct 11 2000 at 20:14:53

One time at a dance, after some three day event. A Pink Floyd song was played. I saw a girl I had met at the event was enjoying the song and I tried to make some kind of cool hippie waving hands in your face gesture. She misinterperted it and waved me off saying "no, no, it's not a slow dance song". So after the song, it became very important to me to seek out this girl and tell her that I did not, in fact, want to actually dance with her or anything.

If you're out there, I'm sorry, and I'm a jerk.


(thing) by O-Swirl (10.5 hr) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Wed Dec 05 2001 at 22:24:38

While this memory is certainly embarrassing, it still manages to crack me up. I was an innocent child, after all. It also goes to show one of the many downsides to having television be your only nanny while growing up.

By the age of 10, I think I may have seen "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" about fifty times, along with a bounty of other 80's flicks. If you recall the film, there is a scene where Charlie Sheen and Jennifer Grey are sitting on a couch at a police station. When Sheen's character tells "Jeannie" (Grey) that there is someone she can go to about her problems, Jeannie replies with "If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle."

OK, well now I had yet to learn what a testicle was- all I really understood was that this was some kind of amusing threat. So, one day, while visiting at my sweet Christian grandparents' home, I ask my grandfather to retrieve my favorite doll house from the attic. As he slowly pulled himself up into the hallway attic, I yelled down the hall jokingly: "Hurry up Granddaddy! Or you lose a testicle!"

My grandmother, who stood behind me, gasped in shock. She forgave me after realizing that I did not understand the exact weight of the words. After she explained the cruelty of the threat, I was mortified and quite apologetic. I certainly did not want my grandfather to lose a testicle.


printable version
chaos

My most embarrassing moment Dealing with annoyingly inquisitive children The Most Embarrassing Christmas Present You've come a long way, baby
Parallelopiped embarrassment I'm sorry dance with her
Kiss My penis shall not suffer as a result of this horrible poetry! Charlie Sheen Pink Floyd
sexual desire Blonde Moment Ferris Bueller's Day Off Gesture
Memory The girl who climbs iron stairs to the heavens Testicle Thong
riverrun Jennifer Grey Success event
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
Just another sprinkling of indeterminacy
Only a simple computer program
Other things nobody tells you about the south pole
Editor Log: August 2007
Dirt in my hair and toenails
William Gibson
Synesthesia
Euclid's algorithm
shotgun house
The end will be a sellout
Beowulf on Everything
And if your teacher is also a pervert?
How to be an improv musician
The Atrocities of Vlad III of Wallachia
New Writeups
antigravpussy
One fly amongst many(person)
sam512
Moon Base Shackleton, 1978(fiction)
Pavlovna
toy boy(person)
XWiz
tear jerker(review)
Heitah
Anarchy is Order(idea)
jessicaj
July 26, 2008(dream)
Berek
ABBA(person)
devolution
k-hole(place)
Nadine_2
The Sound Of Madness(review)
SwimmingMonkey
Conversations with Fo Fo, the Loneliest dog in Purgatory(fiction)
locke baron
lynx(thing)
Simulacron3
Reality, Dimensions and the Natural Ontology(essay)
SubSane
Making Love to a 9-Foot Woman(person)
Ouzo
Thoughts(idea)
antigravpussy
I fall silent, listening. The breadcrumbs are talking about us(person)
This affordable entertainment brought to you by The Everything Development Company