humanity

Alright, in order to picture humanity, imagine that someone had a vat. A vat filled with monkeys. Monkeys which had been shaven. Now, into this vat of monkeys, we add: knives, guns, bombs, rampant monkey porn, Valium, Thorazine, Prozac, heroine, cocaine, missles, designer monkey clothes that only a few monkeys can afford, brass knuckles, clubs, and, finally, slightly deficient supplies of food, water, and suitable monkey mates for each monkey.

Now, as we cannot put 6 billion shaven monkeys in a vat without being sued, bombed, or justifiably assaulted, we must mimic the effect. So, we take our vat, and put it into a car crusher. Now, we slowly apply pressure to the vat, until all these monkeys, with all of their monkey weapons, monkey porn, monkey reliious ideas, and homicidal monkey tendancies are shoulder to shoulder.

That's humanity.

Hu*man"i*ty (?), n.; pl. Humanities (#). [L. humanitas: cf. F. humanit'e. See Human.]

1.

The quality of being human; the peculiar nature of man, by which he is distinguished from other beings.

2.

Mankind collectively; the human race.

But hearing oftentimes The still, and music humanity. Wordsworth.

It is a debt we owe to humanity. S. S. Smith.

3.

The quality of being humane; the kind feelings, dispositions, and sympathies of man; especially, a disposition to relieve persons or animals in distress, and to treat all creatures with kindness and tenderness.

Locke.

4.

Mental cultivation; liberal education; instruction in classical and polite literature.

Polished with humanity and the study of witty science. Holland.

5. pl. (With definite article)

The branches of polite or elegant learning; as language, rhetoric, poetry, and the ancient classics; belles-letters.

⇒ The cultivation of the languages, literature, history, and archaeology of Greece and Rome, were very commonly called literae humaniores, or, in English, the humanities, . . . by way of opposition to the literae divinae, or divinity.

G. P. Marsh.

© Webster 1913.