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ketchup theory

created by asqui

(idea) by asqui (1.5 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 2 C!s Sat Apr 29 2000 at 14:28:25

Firstly, to understand this writeup you may need a comprehensive background in ketchup mechanics and catering logistics.

Have you ever noticed how critical ketchup is in the dining sector? (Probably not, chances are if you have an XP over 800 the only thing that matters to you is noding and sugar...and you dont eat sugar with ketchup, right?)

But to those that do occasionally eat a proper meal, the fact is that ketchup is a very critical substance! It can make a bland meal interesting, and tasty, and it can also be the death of appetite when not available!

Now that we have established these ground rules, we can begin to build on them...

Firstly, while dining (at your computer desk, of course -- even at the best of times...) some problems may be presented to you, namely:

  • Quantity: Do you know how much ketchup you will require?
  • Quality: Do you know if the quality of the substance is sufficient for a quality dining experience? (Minor variations in flavor between brands can make all the difference -- If youre only gonna eat once a day you want it to taste good right?)
  • Combination: Sometimes particular foods may not taste too nice with ketchup, or a particular brand of ketchup!

So what can we do about this? One method which addresses all of these factors is as follows:

  • Discharge a small-to-medium quantity of your selectd substance onto your plate for the feasibility study.
  • Experiment with this quantity, trying different concentration ratios of ketchup-to-bite surface area.
  • Once you have completed the beta testing phase you should have enough information to assess the situation accordingly, and estimate optimal configuration.

Of course, sometimes this procedure may not be convenient, and you simply apply an ample quantity of ketchup to your plate... however this may present problems in the way of excess ketchup.

This state will be affected mainly by the three main variables in ketchup theory: Quality, Quantity, and Combination. Excess ketchup will be:

  • Directly proportional to quantity; and
  • Inversely proportional to the quality; and
  • Inversely proportional to quality of combination of the specific food with the specific ketchup variant.

So, worst case scenario would be, you can't be sure, so you decide to be on the safe side... you fill half your plate with ketchup, but soon discover that it is cheap and yucky, and that whatever you are eating totally doesn't go with ketchup.

This is an unfortunate situation, especially for those who dislike ketchup wastage. Ketchup may well taste nice with food, however it tastes absolutely horrible on it's own! (Especially if it is cheap ketchup)


printable version
chaos

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