There was this girl I used to hate. I don't anymore.

I've mentioned her before, in previous nodes. The "dumb bitch" I so affectionately called her. My beloved ex's ex. We had good reason to dislike each other. She took Jesse away from me, which was hell for me, and he cheated on her with me. Well that's another story.

I wanted to disappear during the entire course of their relationship, and every day I wished the nightmare would end. The kisses she got from him were in public, while I could only hope for ones in private. I begged, and pleaded, and was pathetic. I suppose I tried every conceivable way to break them up. She would not comply to my rules. I thought that she would break up with him after finding out that he had cheated on her five times with me. And then cheated on her once more after promising never to again. I was wrong, and it hurt.

This girl and I pretty much wanted each other dead...because of the pain that involved both being in love with a guy neither of us could fully have. She had his heart and I had his balls. We gave each other dirty looks in the halls. We wrote each other dirty e-mails. We were adversaries in every classic sense of the word. It was petty and stupid, but I couldn't do anything about it. Circumstance prevented me from rectifying the situation. As long as she was with him, and as long as I still cared for him, there would never be any reconciliation.

I pretty much stopped talking to Jesse, we never fully cut off communication but it diminished significantly. I wanted nothing to do with either of them and the stupid problems we caused each other. She acquired some sense and broke up with him, probably because: " he's such a 2 faced asshole " and " god he lies so much ". Well, I say good for her. Well, initially against my better judgement, we got to talking the other day, me and her. She started talking to me and I don't know what her intentions were. She wanted to know some things, and I didn't mind her asking, I suppose she had a right to know. It gave me a chance to ask her a couple of things. Shortest four hour conversation I've ever had.

For the first time, we had a civil conversation. I'm not saying we're friends, I don't know if after all the shit that happened between us if we could ever be. But I actually think we are ok now, which is good enough for me.

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