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Sex for Dummies

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(idea) by Netman (7.2 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Sat Nov 13 1999 at 14:40:53

Sex for Dummies is an "x" for Dummies book that instructs the incredibly ignorant on such matters as foreplay, sexual positions, hygiene and etiquette. You may think that this is possibly the most stupid and useless book ever written. But I knew a guy who owned this book. And he needed it. (The book never helped him actually get laid, but the quality of his rejections improved)

(thing) by moJoe (1.3 wk) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Mon Feb 28 2000 at 13:07:27

Don't get me wrong; I love Dr. Ruth. She is one swingin old lady but...

Sex isn't for dummies...

That's sort of why evolution came about. Soon we shall swim in mediocrity as our gene-pool is over exposed to the harmful rays of stupidity. Let the dumb die off, or interbreed with them selves until they revert back to primates. Why must we help them bumblingly pollute our children's world with their inept offspring?

Hrm, well I suppose somebody has to make my tacos... Automatronics cannot come soon enough.

(idea) by DaVinciLe0 (2.6 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Thu Dec 07 2000 at 20:48:01

A true service to humanity would be to sell a book called "Sex for Dummies" whose pages contain a complete, detailed manual giving precise, idiot-proof instructions for refinishing hardwood floors, or deep-sea fishing, or some such thing. We all know dummies shouldn't be having sex. If we can get them to read this book and end up doing something productive, all the while believing that whatever activity they're participating in is in fact sex, we'll keep them from multiplying and they won't feel left out around the water cooler on Mondays bragging about the great sex they had this weekend.

Better yet, the manual should contain instructions on microwave oven repair, or some other activity that through irradiation or other means serves to sterilize any who follow the instructions. That way, it becomes a method of reimplementing natural selection as well.

Okay, so maybe really it's unnatural deselection, but who are you to judge?


(thing) by argv (5 d) (print)   ?   (I like it!) Thu Jun 26 2008 at 21:16:46

Place yourself in their shoes.

How would you like to be deprived of what everyone else routinely enjoys and brags about, not because of something you do to deserve it but because of something you are and cannot change?

Humans are not soulless, mindless bacteria. Humans are sentient. Life is life; life is serious; life is not a game. Very few are genuinely stupid and fewer still are genetically so.

Besides, evolution doesn't work like that—humans must be fit for survival just as any other species. Evolution does not make exceptions. Evolution does not play favorites. Idiocracy, amusing as it is, is fiction, and if you still believe in degeneration or other such pseudoscientific hogwash, you don't deserve to reproduce any more than the people you judge.

I should also point out that books such as this aren't there to teach people how to reproduce. There are instincts for that. Even a pair of complete mouth-breathing morons will eventually figure it out. What's not so simple is how to make it fun. There are no instincts for that. Evolution does not select for that, either. Thus we must use the intelligence nature gave us to study the topic and write books to aid our fellow man.


printable version
chaos

Items of clothing men find inexplicably alluring Make Penis Fast! Sexual position Having sex in the shower ought to be outlawed
Tips for having sex in an elevator Bumper stickers about kids who beat up honor students Running to 3D Porn Timid virgins make dull company
Things to remember when buying new underwear Walked in on you having sex When having sex in Binary foreplay
The 'Time to make the donuts' guy The right way to take a bath When having sex in ancient Rome When having sex in Germany
The Sunday Night Sex Show unnatural selection Smack My Bitch Up Masturbation
Final meal requests Dr. Ruth You may call me R.J., you may call me Ray When having sex in Poland
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