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March 27, 2008 (essay)

(all of March 27, 2008, there are 4 more in this node)

(essay) by teleny (10.7 min) (print)   ?   Thu Mar 27 2008 at 19:22:22
C! info: 2 C!s given by: karma debt, Excalibur

Deadlier than the male...

What is it with men and mice? In at least three places I've lived, we've had a rodent problem. I mean, you could smell mouse. Worse, their pee sets off every miscued worm detector in my system, and I cough and get short of breath to the point that I have to go to the ER.

However, when I try to lay this problem in front of the Male of the House, the response I get is: "It's not so bad." Or "It's just a little field mouse, it's been cold." Or "Hey, it's kinda cute, y'know. And it's not eating much..."

Fact is, for every mouse you see, there's at least ten other mice you can't. And most mice in houses are house mice, mus domesticus — "field mice" are voles, and are actually larger. And, as I hinted before, they aren't exactly housebroken, dropping black-sesame-seed crap on the kitchen counter, dishes, pantry shelves, and in whatever they feel like appropriating. You'd think that would be enough to get the Male moved to Do Something about it.

"Hey, maybe those really are sesame seeds. I had a bagel yesterday." Or, "We have a Havahart trap, maybe that will work. We can just let the poor little thing out in the woods." Or, "Whaddaya mean, you're allergic? It's probably animal dander. The pollen count is going up, it's Spring." Or, "No, we can't have poison. And how are you gonna get rid of the dead ones? They stink up the place. And don't talk about getting a cat again." Or, "You gals always get so upset over a little thing like mice. Are you all terrified of them?"

I don't feel like it's a "poor little thing". I want it, and its relatives, out of our house, failing that, I want them dead, killed, and their careers terminated with extreme prejudice. Is it Walt Disney? The influence of kindergarten teachers teaching "I think mice/are nice"? The mere fact that Males would much rather have a beer and watch the news rather than deal with anything that happens in a kitchen? Or are they just a little scared, too?

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