Cricket

From: Robin Bennett
Date: 03 August 200013:46
Subject: Krikket (was: Scientific Proof)

> How does cricket work?

22 people in white clothes (plus umpires, also in white, but with silly hats) arrive at a large open grassy area. 13 (plus umpires) stand around in carefully selected locations. It starts to rain. Two old duffers then spend the next 6 hours discussing cakes, pigeons and the fact that you can just see the top of the number 53 bus over the grandstand.

> What is the actual point of it,

Presumably the players get to retire to the bar for the duration of the rain. The main point of it is to broadcast the insane rambling of the old duffers, to other old duffers all around the country; it keeps them happy and subdued (try listening to it backwards, you'll hear a hypnotic voice telling you that "the government is your friend").

Many years ago it had a useful purpose; the English would teach it to the natives of the countries that we conquered, and we could monitor how well we had subverted their culture by the popularity of cricket. First they'd try to pretend to be 'civilised' (i.e. Anglicised) by playing cricket, then we could test for signs of impending revolution by getting them to play each other to see who had practiced most (which is why it's called a 'test match')

> i.e. how do you win or lose or draw?

Traditionally, you won by marching a large army in and shooting anyone waving a spear. You lost when you find yourself learning cricket in an effort to impress the people with guns who are suddenly running your country.

These days the winners are those who are jolted out of their sofa by the realisation that even they can think of something more interesting to do than watch cricket. (presumably the losers are those who can't think of anything better to do.)

> I spent a pleasant evening sitting on the steps of the pavilion getting hammered

That probably counts as winning too.

Fair, acceptable, kosher, proper, legal, reasonable, etc.

iain points out that this usage is almost always in a negative sense, as in "That's not cricket" ("You aren't playing by the rules").

At least in our bats-and-balls sport...

• There is one clear place for a batter to stand, and three clear, ordered places for runners to stand. The pitcher can't spin around and decide "Oh, hell, I think I'll pitch to the runner on second base" -- he might throw the ball there, but that's just to keep him from going anywhere. If the runner makes it all the way around, he's finished -- none of this running back and forth between the same bases/wickets for hours.
• There is fair territory and foul territory. The two are not that confusing. Hit the ball in one place, it's good. Hit it in the other, it's bad, and a fan might get a souvenir. There's none of this "I'm lazy, I don't think I'll run this time" stuff; if it's a fair ball, the batter runs. There's no choice in the matter.
• Our guys swing stick, hit ball. Your batsmen look like golfers with a rather screwed-up club (looks like a paddle designed by some sadistic boarding school teacher who didn't want to get too close to the boys when he was spanking them). Hasn't anybody taught you people about the importance of a smooth, level swing?
• Hell, everyone out on the cricket field (er, pitch) looks like a golfer wearing white dress pants and a polo shirt. Get some decent-looking uniforms. And no, I don't mean the ones like your soccer players have where any square inch of fabric visible is up for sale to the highest bidder. Put a team name on the front, maybe a manufacturer's label on the sleeve if necessary, and name and number (or maybe even just number) on the back. That's all.
• Even hallowed Wrigley Field put up lights back in 1989, the last major league stadium to do so. Most of us got tired of this calling-games-due-to-darkness crap back in the 1960s.
• Your games last four days, and even the "short" versions last a full day. While our baseball players are trying to make their games last all night (actually, it's mostly the television people broadcasting the games that are doing it), we won't let them.
• In baseball, "Let's play two" is a quote from a great man who loved the game. Two games in a day (a "doubleheader") is a fan's dream. In cricket, it's a logical absurdity.

• Bowled - when the ball delivered by the bowler hits the wicket so that a bail is dislodged.
• Leg before wicket (Lbw) - when any part of the body except the hand prevents the ball hitting the wicket, and the ball has not touched the bat or hand first and did not pitch outside leg stump.
• Caught - when a fielder catches the ball before it touches the ground after leaving the bat or batsman's gloves.
• Hit wicket - when the batsman breaks the wicket with bat or body while playing a shot or starting a run.
• Run out - when the fielding side breaks the wicket with the ball when the batsman is out of his ground while the ball is in play.
• Stumped - when the batsman moves out of his ground when receiving the ball and the wicket-keeper breaks the wicket with the ball.

A short history of cricket

The true history of the 'noble's game' is unknown, but a common theory is that it was invented by shepherds. As legend has it, one of the herdsmen would stand in front of a gate and another would throw a rock at him. (Nowadays, that would be classed as abuse, but back then it was a sport. Crazy...) He would hit it with his crook, then called a cricce.

As Schmik stated, the first reference to cricket being played is thought to be in 1300. Then, in 1646, Prince Edward and Piers Gaveston played the first ever recorded match at Coxheath in Kent, England. The first match between different geographical areas, the predecessor to the modern Ashes, One Day-ers and Test Matches, was held between Surrey and Kent in 1709.

The bats, after the assumedly huge success of the crooks, were long and thin clubs, and were swung like baseball bats. By 1700 the bat was thicker and carved of a single piece of wood. The more modern piece of willow with a cane handle and strips of rubber tied with twine was invented in 1853. The early balls (ie, stones) evolved into today's cork hand-stitched red leather quarters after a few hundred years of people being hit in the eyes, head and body with sharp rocks.

Today the wickets are made up of three stumps; once there were two, and at another stage there were four posts. The wicket must be 22.86cm wide with two bails on top, but in the 17th century, the stumps could be placed up to two metres apart.

Is also the name of an insect of the family Gryllidae. They're similar to grasshoppers, and if anyone can tell me the difference I would be delighted, as I'm sorry but I haven't got a clue. Both crickets and grasshoppers belong to the family Orthoptera, or Saltatoria.

That irritating chirping noise you hear on summer evenings is almost certainly due to males rubbing together their wingcases to attract females (whatever happened to flowers and dinner in an expensive restaurant, I ask you?).

While the house cricket (living, surprisingly enough, in houses) is most familiar to people, most crickets live underground.

Jiminy Cricket, in Disney's Pinocchio, was possibly the only famous cricket.

This game has many variations throughout the universe apart from our own. For example there is Brockian Ultra-Cricket. In this game, various pieces of sporting equipment including bats, balls, rackets, gloves, etc are thrown onto the field. All players try to grab as much of this stuff as they can. They then attack a member of the opposing team with a piece of equipment before running away and appologising from a safe distance.
The field is surrounded by a very high wall. This frustrates the spectators a lot, but makes them think the game is a lot more exciting than it really is. There are also a lot more elements and rules to the game than the ones I have mentioned. They were compiled into one book which ended up being so heavy it collapsed and became a black hole.

Despite liking to make fun of cricket, I think it's great game even if it's a bit strange. But then it's no stranger than baseball.

Cricket is a Wireless Telephone Carrier operating primarily in larger metropolitan areas of the United States. It is in fact not it's only company, but a subsidiary/operation of Leap Communications. Leap first debuted the "Cricket" service in March of 1999 in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

The main selling point of Cricket couldn't be easier: flat rate wireless. Talk all you want, until your lips break, until your ears fall of or until the transducer coil in your phone burns itself out (don't laugh, I've seen it happen). All you pay is XX.XX a month (currently 34.95) and you can talk all you like.

But, sadly, that's where the good stuff ends. In a trade off for cheap wireless, you loose many other services that you expect on other pay-per-minute wireless carriers; things like text messaging or wireless data or even current-technology phones. However, few people currently demand these features.

The services offered are voice with standard features of Voice Mail, Caller ID and Call Waiting. The Phones offered vary from market to market but are generally Nokia 5150, 5160i or 5170i phones with many extended functions locked. Leap Communications has a bulk deal with Nokia for these models as very few providers sell them anymore as they are generally 3 to 4 years old technology.

But the upside of flat-rate wireless has made Crickets popularity soar and their market share increase from an average of 4% in 2000 to 17% in Q2/2001.

Their slogan is "Comfortable Wireless" and all their adds and promotion material prominently feature a big, green, "comfortable couch". Always, that friggin' couch.

How to make cricket chirps vocally

There are certain moments in life in which the abhorrent or comedic silence hanging in the air simply cannot stand alone. Examples include:

After a painfully unsuccessful joke:

So a baby seal walks into a club.... (awkward silence)

After an incredibly long rant or teaching session:

And that is why we needed to confirm the existence of Bose-Einstein Condensate. Any questions?... (awkward silence)

For these moments and more, this guide exists. It is the sole responsibility of you, the comedic genius, to supply the necessary sound of crickets chirping to complete the Kodak Moment-type experience.

Step One: Resign yourself
Accept that this, like any worthwhile skill, takes time to acquire. I have some training in vocal percussion and brass musical instruments, so I may be more used to doing odd things with my tongue and mouth than your average noder. In addition, this chirp will only be an approximation of a real chirp¹.

Step Two-A -- The tongue whistle
Get a sound like a kettle boiling going by moving your tongue towards the roof of your mouth. Leave a moderately-sized space between tongue and roof. This should feel like saying the word thin while your tongue is appreciably farther back in your mouth. Ever get that annoying squeaky whistle in front of your s's while you talk? Do it on purpose! Try to make the sound extend a bit in length, and fiddle around with altering pitch from high to low and vice versa, in the same way that one would do while whistling (i.e., moving the lip opening).

Step Two-B -- Strigulation, or syllables
Locate your soft palate -- it's like the back of the roof of your mouth (soft palate explains more thoroughly). Then, once you know where this is, make a good ol' snoring sound. Feel the vibration? That's how you're going to get the separation of sound, the syllables of the chirp, if you will. Practice a little bit doing this while moving your tongue around and with an open mouth; you should hear an interesting variety of sounds.

Step Three: Actually chirping
Perform both parts of Step Two simultaneously, leaving the front of your mouth in a decent whistling position. This will take a bit of time to accomplish well, but what should happen is a rolling whistle, which is a fine basic approximation of a chirp.

Step Four: A Modicum of Realism
Well, if you're going to do this thing, do it right! Typically, the pitch of a cricket's strigulation goes slightly upward as the chirp progresses, which is why it pays to toy with that kettle-whistling sound. Chirps additionally do not last terribly long, only about half a second. If you're especially slick, practice adjust the speed of your soft palate's vibration for temperature... mwa ha ha².

¹This form of chirping will typically garner no success in actually attracting female crickets. The rate of strigulation in crickets optimal for phonotaxis tends to hover around 25-30 beats per second, a rate far beyond that of your typical tongue roll.
²You will typically only accomplish a very quiet chirp with this method -- if you plan on using this in a performance of some sort, a microphone may be necessary.

Cricket is the most common dart game played in bars all across America.

Who Can Play This Game

What You Need to Play or Tools of the Trade

The Object of the Game

Sounds Simple Enough - How do you Keep Score?

Here's where your chalk/eraser and scoreboard come into play. If you can you draw a "/", an "X" and a circle, you can keep score in cricket. The numbers 20 through 15 and the Bulls-Eye are drawn down the center of the scoreboard. On either side of the numbers, toward the top of the board, are either then names or initials of the contestants.

For each dart that lands in the numbers - a corresponding mark is made on the scoreboard. Ya know that thin outer ring on the outside of the dartboard - if a dart finds its way into that space - its called a "double". The thin inner ring on the inside of the dartboard counts as a "triple". All the other space inside the numbers counts as a "single".

This Sounds Too Easy

Warning! - it is considered very bad form to point your opponent to death. This practice is sometimes acceptable among friends but if your playing against strangers, I strongly discourage this practice. Its one of the "unspoken" rules of darts. Many a fight has been started and many an ego has been bruised by using this strategy. This is especially true if enough of your favorite beverage has been consumed and altered ones judgment.

Thanks for the Advice, Now How Do I Win?

Well, you gotta close all your numbers and the bulls-eye before your worthy opponent does. If you're down on points - you have to throw an additional bulls-eye for each 25 points that you are behind.

International cricket while being focussed in the sub continent is still very much a racist sport. Most Umpires and Match Referees are afraid to punish 'white' cricketers especially those from South Africa, Australia and England.

Moreover, we see that bowlers from the subcontinent (this includes India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka) are the ones whose bowlers get called for 'chucking'. (this refers to an illegal bowling action and can lead to a cricketer being temporarily being banned from the game till he corrects his action). Bowlers with suspect action from Australia, I refer to Brett Lee, have gone scott free.

Further, it is players from these countries who do not receive any punishment for violating the Code of Conduct set down by the International Cricket Council while players from smaller countries are often punished for the smallest of offences. Even Match Referees from the sub-continent are afraid to punish white cricketers. This perpetuates an unequal system where those countries which generate most of the revenue, don't get the respect they deserve.

A good example of this was the Mike Denness affair when India was touring South Africa, which received a lot of media coverage. It showed how biased the match referee was in dealing with the Indian players. In past South African tours, Alan Donald, their premier fast bowler has gotten away with outrageous behaviour on the field.

A recent example of 'racism' was the Darren Lehmann controversy. Lehmann is an Australian cricketer who recently served a three match ban for racially abusing the Sri Lankan captain Sanath Jayasuriya. What was especially galling was the fact that a number of former cricketers argued that it must have been said in the 'heat of the moment', which I find an incerdibly naive justification for racial villification. Even if he was terribly angry at his own performance, I find it shocking that Lehmann chose to comment on the skin colour of the Lankans and then there are others who seek to excuse him for that. It merely sets a bad precedent for professional cricketers that there are those around who are willing to condone such actions.

A further amusing incident involved an allegation by Australian wicketkeeper batsman Adam Gilchrist that he had been racially abused by the Pakistani wicketkeeper Rashid Latif. Ultimately, after examining the available evidence, the Match Referee threw out the allegation and Latif, for a while, threatened to sue Gilchrist.

I shall keep documenting the evidence of disparity and injustice in the cricketing world as the 2003 World Cup progresses.

Being an Australian, I am a very avid fan of cricket. It is my favourite sport. I watched as much as i can when its televised. I even play the fast paced indoor version, which also happens to be quite dangerous. Seeing the overviews in this node reminded me of one definition i remember reading.

I have a book here at home, Cricket Trivia Declared. I got it from my grandpa when i was about 8. It is, as the title suggests, a book full of cricket trivia. As i was flicking through its small A5 pages, i found possibly the most confusing definition of the game that has ever been recorded.

During a trip to England, an American tourist visited the hallowed Lords cricket ground and got into a conversation with an MCC member, during which, he asked for a definition of the game of cricket. This was the reply he got:

Cricket is very simple. It is played between two sides - one out and the other in. The side that's in goes in and the side that's out goes out and tries to get each man in the side that's in, out. When the side that's in is out, then the side that's been out goes in and the side that's been in goes out, and tries to get the side coming in out. Each man in the side that's in goes in until he's out. When both sides have been in and out, including the not-outs, that's the end of the game.

No wonder Americans think its a wacked version of baseball.

The cricket is a small insect belonging to the order Orthoptera. Ranging greatly in size, crickets are equipped with large hind legs that provide the ability to jump relatively large distances.

A nocturnal creature, crickets spend their nights looking for food and generally getting on with their lives. A good deal of this consists of singing, although in fact only the male crickets do this, rubbing their wings together, or against their leg, producing their characteristic chirping sound. This stridulation varies between cricket species, but has the same purpose throughout: the female cricket hears the male through a small pit in the leg, covered with a thin membrane, and wastes very little time in finding her way to the source of the sound, presuming she's in the mood.

Following mating, the eggs are deposited, one by one, in loose, sandy soil, the female being equipped with a long ovipositor for this purpose. Usually laid in late summer, the eggs will hatch the following May or June.

Crickets will eat almost anything - rotting food, green plants, other insects - even each other. Likewise, pretty much anything that's fond of meat will eat a cricket, and they are a particular favourite of frogs, toads, snakes and even mammals. Foxes, raccoons and dogs will all eat crickets, providing they can catch them. The cricket's long legs and tendency to hide during the day reduces the frequency of this.

And yes, crickets are quite nutritious for humans, too. After being placed in the freezer for half an hour they can be de-headed and de-legged before being baked at about 250 degrees for fifteen to twenty minutes. Dipped in melted chocolate and cooled on waxed paper, they provide an interesting (if not particularly common) snack.

Crickets can make intriguing pets, although they are smelly if not cleaned regularly, and if they escape in the house are pretty much guaranteed to wake you up each night with annoying chirps. Most breeders tend to keep them as food for other pets, but a glass aquarium with a few leaves of lettuce is all that's needed to establish a colony, if that's what you want. Some sandy soil will encourage them to breed, and a small sponge will provide extra water for your new pets. Mine seem to like cherry tomatoes, too.

Cricket. Gotta love cricket.

Cricket is a game where two men (or women, but generally men) stand at either ends of a turf "pitch" with logs of wood cut, sanded and polished to make bats. The idea is for the men to hit a red hard ball towards the edge of the oval they are playing on before eleven other men stop the aforementioned ball. The two men also have to stop the ball hitting the stumps, or three long wooden pegs with little lumps of wood, bails, balanced quite delicately on top of them.

But cricket doesn't stop there.

I have been taught to play several types of cricket. My favourite is Backyard Cricket... where generally people make up their own rules. But, like Monopoly, there are a lot of rules that people use internationally. Like people deciding whether to put tax money on Free Parking, we in Backyard Cricket decide whether to put the "one-hand, one-bounce" rule into play (that is, if the ball bounces once on the ground, you may try to catch it with one hand).

Another is a game I take pride in inventing, and a game which until now, only my mate knew how to play as well as me. Instead of a bat, we use a tennis racket. Instead of the batsman standing between the stumps, he stands outside them. Instead of running, when the batsman hits the ball, they are given points depending on how close the ball was to the trampoline when it stopped (or when it was fielded).

But truly my favourite is Car Cricket, for long, boring trips on the freeway. It's very simple to play, as long as you know the scoring system in regular cricket. For each vehicle that passes you (passes, not overtakes) you score a certain amount of runs: 1 point for a bicycle or motorbicycle; 2 points for a car (except if the car is red or white, in which case you lose a wicket); 3 points for a car with a trailer, 4WD, ute or van (any colour); 4 points for a 4WD with a trailer, ute with a trailer or van with a trailer; 5 points for a truck; and 6 points for a B-double or truck with a trailer. Heaps of fun.

Hope I enticed you to try a couple of those games.

Crick"et (kr?k"?t), n. [OE. criket, OF. crequet, criquet; prob. of German origin, and akin to E. creak; cf. D. kriek a cricket. See Creak.] Zool.

An orthopterous insect of the genus Gryllus, and allied genera. The males make chirping, musical notes by rubbing together the basal parts of the veins of the front wings.

⇒ The common European cricket is Gryllus domesticus; the common large black crickets of America are G. niger, G. neglectus, and others.

Balm cricket. See under Balm. -- Cricket bird, a small European bird (Silvia locustella); -- called also grasshopper warbler. -- Cricket frog, a small American tree frog (Acris gryllus); -- so called from its chirping.

© Webster 1913.

Crick"et, n. [AS. cricc, crycc, crooked staff, crutch. Perh. first used in sense 1, a stool prob. having been first used as a wicket. See Crutch.]

1.

A low stool.

2.

A game much played in England, and sometimes in America, with a ball, bats, and wickets, the players being arranged in two contesting parties or sides.

3. Arch.

A small false roof, or the raising of a portion of a roof, so as to throw off water from behind an obstacle, such as a chimney.

© Webster 1913.

Crick"et, v. i.

To play at cricket.

Tennyson.

© Webster 1913.