From the Book of Fellatio, Chapter 69:
1 And the LORD did look down upon the Everythingites and He saw that they were a bunch of sex-obsessed pervs.
2 For truly it is written that all they did ever node was stuff about makin' sweet love all night long.
3 But the noders did deny the LORD, saying, "Nuh-uh, we're just writing up all aspects of the human experience, God-dude!"
4 And God did snort derisively. "Thou art so full of it. Whyfore wouldst thou node about scoring with toons? And about how you like to do it?"
5 But the Everythingites were not ashamed, and they did say, "Oh LORD, truly, Jessica Rabbit is so fine!"
6 And the LORD did continue ranting. "And whyfore do you obsess over doing it on tables and naked white-trash actresses turned to stone?"
7 "And truly do you all make tremendous idjits of thyselves over jessicapierce's hot ass, when Bathsheba's is so much hotter! And how wouldst thou explain Juliet's entire noding career? Anonymous boob server, My divine ass!"
8 And the noders did become uncomfortable and shuffle their feet, and they did cry out unto the LORD, saying, "Watch out, God! Satan is right behind You! Really, he is!"
9 And the LORD did roll His eyes. "I am not falling for that one again. How stupid do you think the LORD your God is?"
10 And Lucifer did raise his cloven hoof up and kick the LORD in the ass, knocking Him flat on His face, then did the Deceiver run away, giggling.
11 And God did holler mightily and chase the Devil clear to Ganesh's house, leaving the Everythingites to peacefully Node for the Nookie. |
