And lo, as it was - the prophet Sir Kernighan-Richie looked out over the landscape and saw all was not well. In the east lay the swamps of Cobol - which many lived around. He saw they were not good and the animals of the Cobol swamp were not fast.
In the west lay mountains of Fortran, in which lived the race of Dwarf-scientists. They took many hours carving their animals, which although quick, were not lean and couldn't do anything without bringing a whole library with them.
And so as time past, He grew tried of his old horse and decided to create a new steed. "It shall be better than any before it" He proclaimed "And it shall ride on different worlds with only a change of shoes."
Sir Kernighan-Richie saw that carving his steed by hand was too slow, and the forges of Fortran are not lean. He looked at the swamps of Cobol and proclaimed them evil. "No," he said "I will create my steed, and she shall be called Unix." The crowd gasped. "I will make her here, in this saline lake I shall call C."
He went forth and created his lake, and created his steed, and the crowd saw it was good. It was fast like the animals from the mountain foundries of Fortran, but could travel with only those parts of its library that it needed. "Wow," they said and slowly the swamps of Cobol were left and converted to C, and the Scientists said "Lo now we can travel quicker, we have no need for our animals forged in the mountain, yet animals from the C and much easier to make." Soon many lived from the C, yet there was space for everyone.
Many years past, and apart from a minor invasion of the politically correct Pascalians, the people of C lived happily. They created much, and life was good. Some of the workmen of C were better than others, and amongst the best was a man-giant by the name of Larry. Many revered him, for he was quick to work, and a skilled craftsman. One night he was touched by the dark forces that had been cleansed by Sir Kernighan-Richie so many years before. Perhaps he went too close to the decaying swamps of Cobol, but on that night he brought back a beautiful Perl from the C. It glistened brightly in the powerful sun. He presented it to the people of C and said "Use my Perl, and you will be more productive." Tempted by this, and by their need to weave webs, many of the youngsters left C to follow the Perl.
The elders of C spoke wisdom when they said "But it doesn't know about Types and it lacks definition." However the followers of Perl liked their quick results - "We don't need your Types," they said. The elders were largely ignored, and the true pure land of the father Kernighan-Richie started to turn to the dark side.
While reams were written about the magical Perl C was content with the white bible.
And the Gods looked down and saw that C was good, and that Perl while nifty was not the future, and gaia based on C was the future. The Evil scripting languages were purged, and there was rejoicing in the streets.