The Kabalarian name philosophy
is more or less random. There's about as much method in it as converting a name to a number and then picking one of ten responses from a database. In the earlier days of their website, they would do a quick review of your name "by hand
," meaning if your name wasn't in their "database
" that they would give it 10 minutes, give it a random review, and then put it on the page. Great fun could be had waiting to see if it'd actually spit out an analysis
of names like toilet
, and goatse
. Of course, it did.
Sadly though, many people seem to think that it's an authentic
practice. Though admittedly I haven't looked at the detailed
"name reports" they have, I'd imagine it's on par. If you ever do have a friend
or someone who keeps telling you that their name was right on, and yours may be too, and all sorts of other crap
, pull this stunt
to prove them wrong. It works everytime:
1) Get a volunteer
from the group in the room. A neutral third party
, we'll say her name is Jamie.
2) Without either party looking, pull up her name on the Kabalarian website, then pull up any other female
name, say... Sue. Make sure it's a different random report than Jamie's was, and say, "Ok, here's what the Kabalarians have to say about you." Read off Sue's name report to Jamie.
3) At this point, because all the responses are generalized
as fortune cookie messages
, Jamie should probably nod and say, "Yeah, that'd be me all right," or something to the effect. Smile
, and try not to revel too much in your victory when you show them the monitor with "Jamie's" name report.
It might be worth explaining at this point to your friend the concept of canned responses
and whatnot. Simply plugging in thirty names and seeing only ten responses come up should be more than enough proof, but this will at least prove your point in a rather hands on