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Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.

created by Zach

(idea) by Zach (4.4 mon) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Sat Dec 02 2000 at 18:21:12

The original and painfully brief node:
Said by the character Hans Gruber in the movie Die Hard, after John McClane kills one of Hans' men and leaves him in an elevator to be discovered. John wrote the phrase on the dead guy's sweater in order to intimidate and annoy Hans. Pretty fucking hilarious.

Update an unspecified time later:
It has been pointed out to me that this post is misleading. Some who have seen the movie, believe that this statement was made not by Hans Gruber but to him by Bruce Willis' character. It has been suggested I rewrite this write-up to reflect that. However, if one were to watch the film Die Hard again, one would note that Bruce Willis never actually says the line. He writes it onto the dead guy's sweater with a red marker or lipstick or something he finds in the building. It is Alan Rickman who actually says the line, reading it from the sweater with a sense of ironic sarcasm.

This is a very useful quote in many situations. It is good to say to friends over drinks for an easy laugh, provided everyone at the table's seen the movie. You can also use this quote on a subway train or some other crowded place filled with strangers. It never ceases to cause confusion and uneasiness.

Update June 15th, 2005:
Fellow E2 participant BlackPawn has pointed out to me that he "believe(s) the statement was written in blood kindly donated" to John McClane "by the guy it was written on." This is entirely plausible, however there is no evidence in the film confirming this. We never actually see McClane write out the phrase. Come to think of it, it's silly to think a man in McClane's position, concerned that at any moment another thug could show up to try and kill him, would take the time to write out the phrase on the dead guy's sweat shirt. While, it's pretty creepy to think McClane would actually use blood to write on a dead guy, it certainly would have been more efficient and less time consuming for McClane, given the situation.

Furthermore, and I'm going from memory at this point so please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, The dead guy was killed via a broken neck, after he and McClane took a tumble down the stairs. So he wasn't dead in a way that left a gaping wound and a lot of blood. However, by this point in the story, McClane had already suffered injuries that broke his skin. Therefore, it's more plausible to surmise that McClane had used his own blood to write the words on the dead guy's sweatshirt.

By the way the name of the dead guy, who has the phrase in question written on his gray shirt, was Tony, Karl's brother. Tony was played by Andreas Wisniewski, a Berlin born actor who's been in a dozen other films including Gothic, The Living Daylights, and the first Mission: Impossible film with Tom Cruise.

(idea) by Ashley Pomeroy (2.9 d) (print)   ?   I like it! Mon Oct 01 2001 at 15:42:48

The node suffers from being unable to reproduce Alan Rickman's unique vocal delivery of the line 'Ho ho ho'. With his strangled go at a German accent, Rickman transformed those simple words into something which resembled the sound of a weakened, dying man attempting to expel an interloping mouse from his mouth. 'Hoh... hoh...... hoh.' is closer to the phrasing, but looks odd.

From a pedantic point of view, John McClane would have been more correct to write 'Now I have a submachine gun. Ho ho ho', as McClane had actually stolen a Heckler and Koch MP5. Machine guns are large and heavy and are designed to fire lengthy bursts of automatic fire, whilst submachine guns are small and light and designed to fire short bursts. Although, what with it being a late-80s action film, the former definition applies to all firearms in 'Die Hard'.


(thing) by JavaBean (3.4 mon) (print)   ?   I like it! Mon Mar 20 2006 at 9:35:49

This phrase has been "borrowed" by the latest in the Civilization series of games by Firaxis, Civilization IV. It plays a minor role in the game: when talking to an AI civ, they usually introduce themselves in a way that reflects your relationship with them, such as, "Go away. America does not negotiate with terrorists." When speaking to a leader with whom you are not actively at war, they will often attempt to intimidate you, as with our words are backed by NUCLEAR WEAPONS in Civilization II. One of the ways they do this is by bragging about their latest military development; for example, in the ancient era, an angry opponent may say, "Soon my numberless Axeman will destroy you all!" Another option is, "Now I have a <UNIT NAME HERE>. Ho ho ho." One of the units you can get is a machine gun, which means that every so often the AI will say, "Now I have a Machine gun. Ho ho ho."

I must admit I've never seen Die Hard, so I didn't recognize it in the game. But when I happened upon this node, I was pleasantly surprised. Sid Meier's team puts a lot of work into polishing the Civilization games, and there's always more to discover. It's always nice to find a little Easter egg like this in any program.


printable version
chaos

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker! E2 has gone CRAZY! Fists with your toes Alan Rickman
Die Hard Heckler & Koch MP5 Most adults forget what it was like to be a child once they hit a certain age Heckler and Koch
Heckler & Koch UMP The Suicide Machines Su-24 Fencer submachine gun
The sequel to Se7en Our words are backed by nuclear weapons Ho Ho Fucking Ho N2 Weapon
Machine gun Swedish, in one word Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town Clever Hans
k-rad AK47 Malkavian Boomstick
No more writeups are being accepted for this node. This is the absolute most that needs to be said about a single line from a movie. If you feel you have something to add to this node, post it on your Scratch Pad and contact an editor.
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