September 1, 2016

My story "Through Thy Bounty" originally appeared in a small press anthology called The Midnighters' Club. As a result, it got an honorable mention in Year's Best Fantasy and Horror 15. Later, I re-sold it to Apex Online; as a result, it was optioned by an indie filmmaker (though, just like the vast majority of options, the film didn't get made). Still later, it was purchased by LampLight. Most recently, you can find the story in my Stoker-winning collection While the Black Stars Burn.

Which is a long way of saying: this is demonstrably a decent story. Not a story that sucks. An entirely publishable tale.

It also got rejected about a dozen times before the first publisher bought it.

The story was essentially the same the first time I sent it out as the lucky number 13th. But nobody knew who I was, and competition for slots in short fiction venues is tight. Paying publishers might only accept 3% of what they receive through open calls.

So, what can you learn from the tale of my tale?

Don't. Give. Up.

If you believe in a story, keep sending it out. If you get feedback that makes sense to you, act on it! But don't give up. You can write a good story and get lucky and sell it to the first place you send it, but chances are that if you're starting out, your first bunch of sales are going to be very difficult. If I had given up after ten rejections and thought, "Well, this story must not be any good!" I'd have been dead wrong.

Well, it's been about four months since my weight loss surgery.

The past month was a bit frustrating, intially, as my weight loss slowed numbers-wise. However, my surgeon warned me to expect this, and also advised me to remain alert for shape changes when the numbers stopped moving, and she was right. I've 'only' lost around 10-11 lbs over the past 30 days, which is slow compared to my prior rate but still a fast loss rate by any other measure. When I checked my lean mass/fat mass readings for the month, I could see that although my weight wasn't changing much, I seem to have accumulated slightly more lean mass and lost fat mass, which my surgeon says is my body reacting to the continued loss by trying to retain muscle tissue - moving fat into muscle. This is accentuated by the fact that I'm walking more (up to around 3 miles/day, sometimes 4-5).

Several friends spontaneously noted this month that I look 'dramatically thinner' - and these are friends who have been seeing me regularly since the surgery, which would seem anecdotally to indicate that in fact, yes, I was undergoing shape changes this month much more than straight weight changes. I think what is going on is that I've lost most of the excess weight on my extremities - most of my fat is now concentrated in my gut. I hadn't realized how much fat I had elsewhere until I started losing it - I think my legs are maybe 4/5 the width they were, in some places. My shirts fit very differently, as apparently I've started losing excess weight around my shoulders and upper back, which people have said makes me look noticeably different especially from the rear.

My joints ache a bit in weird places. I'm not sure why; I'm going to ask my doc if it's nutrition related, but I don't think so. I suspect it's just that since I have much less padding, I need to relearn how to sleep and sit and generally operate my body, because I'm putting more pressure on bones and muscles directly.

I'm still eating between 700 and 1100 calories a day. I find that eating 'real food' makes for faster weight loss, within reason - I think because protein shakes have more concentrated nutritional value, or more highly available nutrition. I've eaten several of my old favorite restaurant meals in the past month, including Peking duck, and have found as expected that I can eat much much less of them. However, it's wonderful that I still seem to enjoy all the foods I used to, perhaps even more now that I'm limited in the amount I can consume. I'm taking my time, and savoring my food - not only does that increase my satisfaction, but if I eat slowly, I can generally eat perhaps 6-7 oz instead of 4, as food moves through my stomach (over the course of 90 mins or so, whereas I used to bolt my food in maybe 20).

I really wish I'd been ready to do this surgery 10 or 5 years ago. But I wasn't, and had I done it, it would have had a bad outcome - I'm very confident of that. I did it when I was ready to do it, when I finally decided I needed to do it, and I think that has a great deal to do with my so far apparently relatively painless recovery and adjustment. I haven't made myself sick to the point of vomiting, not even once. I've tried not to stretch my stomach, and I think I'm so far doing OK because the maximum amount I can eat at a time has only gone up by a small amount. I've managed to stay under 30-40 grams of carbs per day this entire time, and I've adjusted to the notion that this should be a lifelong change. While I miss sugar and pasta and pizza and french fries and bread, I miss it intellectually - I've finally moved past the physiological carb cravings.

The only thing that really grates on me, I have to say, is that I'm a New York Jew, and not being able to eat bagels is really a constant sore spot.

Weight: 251

The following daylog is likely the textbook example of TMI.

Well since my last day log about the only thing I've done is count. A whole lot of counting, probably over 3000 counts in the past 48 hours. I imagine you might wonder WHY??? Why would someone count over 3000 times in 48 hours.

I asked myself the same question when I came upon a group of people who had been counting, day in and day out for weeks, months, years. The BBC once ranked it in the top 5 most bizarre communities on the entire internet. So I am not alone in wondering WHY??? At the time of that BBC article they'd counted less than 200,000 times, at this point they have counted over 1,333,333 times!!!

I wanted to add my one count because it's a historical count and then move on but I found myself trying to solve the mystery as to why they'd counted over 300,000 times. Finally I posted a thread there to try and find out. I wasn't getting any answers so I posted a number of theories.

Some of theories included:

THEORY 1:

Because ya'all are trying to redefine the meaning of INSANITY:

Old meaning: Doing the same thing again and again and again expecting DIFFERENT results.

New Meaning Doing the same thing again and again and again expecting the SAME results. Forever. And Ever?!?!?

THEORY 2:

OCD? Half of you can't handle leaving something at an ODD number, the other half of you can't stand EVEN numbers?

THEORY 3:

This is an inside joke, known only to the 7,456 subscribers - but me.

THEORY 4:

This is a STANDFORD UNI social experiment. Ya'all are doing this just to see how many people you can get to join in and mindlessly count for hours, days, years....

THEORY 5:

Everyone wants a legacy. To be a part of history. And though there are perhaps 936,639 easier, quicker ways to do so. Ya'all have settled on this one. And someday when this is in the Guiness Book of World Records. You can be proud to have been a part of it. If so - my one post - makes me a part of that history too. WoooHooo.

THEORY 6:

It's a "ZEN" thing. Relaxing to some. Like counting sheep? This is the best one I've come up with so far..

(I did not know at the time they in fact DID count sheep lol)

THEORY 7:

Ya'all are on a dare. When I've played Truth or Dare over the years, quite often one of the rules is you're can't tell anyone your on a dare. If this is the case this is a cruel dare!

THEORY 8:

This is the worlds BEST and most elaborate AntiJoke. Everyone's doing this as a joke - with NO punchline. If so, ya got me! This could go down in infamy

THEORY 9:

Ya'all are part of a new-fangled 12 step program & this is the 14th step.

.

If you wonder why I didn't say 13th step, it's because the 13th step is known in the 12 step world as "sleeping with a fellow 12 stepper

THEORY 10:

Ya'all misread the same verse in the bible: pssssssssssssstttttttt GOD said "Go forth and multiply" not "Go forth and add"

I became a member of the community, acting as cheerleader, newbie mentor and historian. After about six months I gave in and decided to count 10 counts a day. Eventually I wanted to make it into the TOP 100 counters listed in their Hall of Counters. Then I got 'sucked in' - and counted enough to make it into the TOP 20 in under 20 days of active counting.

All told I've counted at least 35,000 times and I don't have an answer for you as to WHY???. I count for a number of reasons, not one in and of itself would be a reason to count, but combined there is a reason. :)

I intend to do a WU on that sub /r/counting and its crazy counters. I think some will find this odd group fascinating