Our joke on God is that even if He forced us to love one another,
we'd find some way to fuck it up. Us humans just aren't happy
unless someone else is suffering at our hands- doesn't matter who it is. If
there's a wail of misery, it brings a smile to our faces. If someone says
a kind word in a room full of people, some schmuck simply has
to follow it up with some kind, hateful remark or baleful roll of the eyes.
Why do people immediately suspect that acts of kindness have strings attached?
Sally: "You look really nice tonight, Eric."
Eric: "Wow... thanks for the compliment, Sally. Thanks a lot. Totally unexpected."
Joey: "Hey, you two, just get a room and fuck and get it over with, okay?"
Sally and Eric (together): "Fuck off, Joey. Stop being an asshole."
It happens all the time, I tell you, and I'm sick and tired of it. I've gone
nearly three decades now, listening to people bitch about the fact that there's
too much hate in this world, but no one seems to want to appreciate kindness
anymore. Cynicism has become a fad, and only the popular people can wield
it properly... and everyone wants to be popular. You simply aren't
cool unless you've got a healthy streak of cynicism running in your veins, right?
Forget that "peace and prosperity" crap- someone get the kitchen
knives and let's slice some happy hearts. C'mon, it'll be fun.
Just leave my friends and family out of the slicing party- they're
Trouble is, there's someone else around the block who's thinking
the same healthy way you are- and you and yours are their first
targets. Lucky you.
It's astonishing to me how many people think that being kind is a weakness.
Don't they ever wonder just how unbelievably difficult it is to keep the lip
zipped when what you really wanna do is rip into someone's hide
for some perceived transgression? It takes all kinds of self-control and
understanding, not to mention patience, to not give in to hatred.
Goodness is not a sign of being weak; it's the truest sign of
strength. To overpower someone else is easy enough if you're swinging a big
enough bat, but to reign in your own will at a moment's notice?....
moving mountains could be simpler sometimes.
But still, people give in to the hatred. They try to justify it, but it still
comes off as a weak defense.
Sally: "Joey, why is it that you're always so insulting to people who're
friendly to each other? There hasn't been a day that has gone by when you didn't
Joey: "People being all lovey-dovey to each other annoys me. It makes
me realize what I don't have, so I lash out. If you don't like the way I react,
don't act that way around me."
Sally (aghast and stupefied): "So that makes it all right to treat people
like shit? Simply because you keep pushing people away by acting like an asshole,
you think it's okay to take your loneliness out on others? And you're how
Joey: "Well... when you put it like that, it doesn't sound
too good, does it? But what can I do? It's just the way I am."
Sally: "I wonder if God accepts that as an excuse in the next world? 'Sorry,
Boss, I just couldn't seem to rise above my base instincts. I know You sent
us all those great religions and teachings to help us be better, but it just
seemed like too much work to keep my mouth shut. Sorry.' I wonder if He'll
apologize as He's banishing you from His presence? 'Sorry, My son, but I did
give you plenty of opportunities on Earth. Can't say I didn't try. Enjoy the
If you're one of those idiots that goes around and bitches about the state
of the world as it is right now, but you're also one of those idiots that thinks
you're perfectly justified in beating someone up for bumping into you accidentally
in a bar... well, guess what? YOU MADE IT THE WAY IT IS, SO YOU GET TO
DEAL WITH IT JUST LIKE THE REST OF US. IF, however, you want the world
to change, it's really very simple:
Stop acting like an asshole is the first step.