A few year
s ago, during those difficult teenage
years, when around 75% of the conversation
s between male friends
concerns their increasing interest in girls
, a friend of mine revealed that he had recently been suffering from a 'sore area' twixt his legs
Apparently he had been 'enjoying' a run-of-the-mill wank in his bedroom when he decided to spice things up a bit. He admitted that he recently taken to using various bathroom products to aid lubrication (shampoo, conditioner, shower gel etc) but on this occasion made the rather foolish decision to rub in a handful of 'Deep Heat' to his nether regions (Deep Heat in case anyone doesn't know of it is an ointment used to relieve muscular soreness, aching bones and muscular inflammations and is NOT to be applied to open wounds or sensitive areas).
The result of his ill-thought out scheme was the rapid onset of a chronic burning sensation to his organ that forced him to writhe around his room in silent agony (his parents were in the next room) desperately trying to cool himself off with any water based products he could find.
Inevitably he was not quiet enough and when his mother knocked on his door, all he could do was to exclaim in a very shrill voice that he had a bad case of cramp in his leg. Luckily she didn't enter his room to see him doubled over clutching his very red and extremely sore penis.
If anyone has applied anything more ludicrous to their reproductive organs (sulphuric acid for instance), then I would like to hear about it.
Aaaahhhh, so you call it icy hot do you? In which case I unreservedly apologise for this waste of node-space, will instantly request an edit of this node-title to go with the other nodes of far higher quality that deal with this issue and take my downvotes with as much dignity as I can muster, sorry!