An airitarian is a person with a strict set of eating guidlines. (Much like a vegitarian or vegan) These people find it offensive to eat anything. They feel for all the poor little carrots and potatoes that are murdered every day. They don't drink water because they may be hurting some microscopic organisms in the process.

They only thing that they are allowed to take into their body is air. Not the normal everyday air that we breathe but a specially filtered air. This air has no organic material in it and all the micro organisms were carefully removed without being harmed during the filtration.

One who is an airitarian is not actually allowed to move because they may harm some living or formerly living thing in the process.

There are a few radical airitarian factions who raid suprermarkets and free the captured fruits and vegetables but they are not supported by the ASA (Aititarian Society of America).

If you are interested in airitarianism sit very still on a non organic surface which was is in no way associated with organic substances. do not move ever again. Get a filtered air tank. Then ask somone else to go get you info and read it to you so you don't disturb any organic compounds.

Airitarians of the world unite. We must save our planet.

But be careful that in the process of saving it we don't accidentaly harm any organic compunds and that the people we enlist to help us don't harm any organic compunds and that the people who help the people that help us.....

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