A latex balloonlike thing that acts as a contraceptive. Leather condoms from 800 years ago have been found in archaeological digs. There are condoms for both males and females to wear; the most popular is the one for male use.

The first well-documented condom was created by Gabriel Fallopius (yep, as in fallopian tubes. He was an anatomist) in the mid 1500s. They were made of medicated linen, a standard of 8 inches long (I won't comment on that.) and was tied on with a pink ribbon. I have no idea why it was pink. More feminine, perhaps? They were referred to as "overcoats".

From here, legend has it that there was an Earl of Condom (who, needless to say, later went on to request that his name not be associated with his invention) that was asked by King Charles II to create a device that would prevent him from getting syphilis. As there were many, many bastards of this particular King, it was obvious that contraception was not his main goal. Anyway, the device was made of oiled and stretched sheep's intestine.

In the 1870s, they first started being made from vulcanized rubber, and almost immediately aquired that nickname. Latex wouldn't be used until the 1930s.

n. the little plastic or rubber thing that protects your tube's valve stem from rim damage.

(Noder's note: Good GOD, there's some heavy sexual innuendo in that definition.)

From the Dictionary of Mountain Bike Slang

A small town in southwest of France. For a long time the people in Condom devoted themselves with producing Armagnac, a fine liquor, and feeding old and rich Englishmen who came there for their holidays in search for things which do not exist in England, like food and sun.

Then, one day somebody told the natives that the name of their city had a special meaning in English, something they called "capote anglaise" (English hood) in French.

They decided to build a Museum of the Condom to entertain the tourists, not very far from the river Baise which crosses the city (Baise would mean "fuck" in French if it were not for a small difference which cannot be rendered in ASCII). You can visit the museum from June 17 to September 10, every day from 10am to 12am and from 3pm to 7pm. 20 francs for adults, 10 francs for children and students.

Condom also has a few interesting mansions of the 12th to 16th centuries, and I visited its beautiful gothic cathedral last year, but this is not the reason why you read this node, did you?

Acronym: College Of Notre Dame Of Maryland. Just north of Loyola College on Charles Street in Baltimore, the College of Notre Dame of Maryland is a Roman Catholic school for women only. The rumors vary: "Condom Girls" are said to be anything from virginal and prudish to, well... the town bicycle. As with all generalizations, the truth is probably much more moderate, and sadly, less outlandishly ironic.

condition out = C = confuser

condom n.

1. The protective plastic bag that accompanies 3.5-inch microfloppy diskettes. Rarely, also used of (paper) disk envelopes. Unlike the write protect tab, the condom (when left on) not only impedes the practice of SEX but has also been shown to have a high failure rate as drive mechanisms attempt to access the disk -- and can even fatally frustrate insertion. 2. The protective cladding on a light pipe. 3. `keyboard condom': A flexible, transparent plastic cover for a keyboard, designed to provide some protection against dust and programming fluid without impeding typing. 4. `elephant condom': the plastic shipping bags used inside cardboard boxes to protect hardware in transit. 5. n. obs. A dummy directory /usr/tmp/sh, created to foil the Great Worm by exploiting a portability bug in one of its parts. So named in the title of a comp.risks article by Gene Spafford during the Worm crisis, and again in the text of "The Internet Worm Program: An Analysis", Purdue Technical Report CSD-TR-823.

--The Jargon File version 4.3.1, ed. ESR, autonoded by rescdsk.

Lordy, the things you're about to know about condoms.

History

Condoms are simple things. They have been around for a long time.

The condom was probably an accidental invention. A thousand years before the birth of Christ, the Egyptians wore linen sheaths around their penises — probably as a decorative garment. Some archaeologists posit that they kept the dusty wind out of the urethral opening, while others believe they were worn during intercourse as a direct means of contraception and disease prevention.

Naturally, the Egyptians using luxurious linen sheaths as contraceptives is only a hypothesis. We have conceived of it only because of cave drawings at Cambarelles in France depicting condom use, a full thousand years after the heyday of the Egyptians.

What we do know is that since then men have found ways of fitting virtually anything over their penises to catch their expelled semen. They used linen, leather, animal intestines. We use sheep entrails to this day. Alternatively, soak tortoise shell or animal horn long enough and twist it around enough: it becomes pliable. Horn and shell are full of keratin and keratin softens. It's why washed hair is softer and why your fingertips wither up in the tub. Men have made condoms out of these things.

The macho ones used the flesh of their dead adversaries.

Of course, making a prophylactic out of the horn of a roving bovine is hard work. That's why these suckers were reusable — like shave kits.

We didn't officially start using condoms for disease prevention until the 1500s, when Italian Gabrielle Fallopius (of Fallopian tube fame) conducted research with, again, linen sheaths hypothesizing that they prevented thousands of syphilis cases¹.

Condus is Latin for "receptacle." A condom is a receptacle for semen. The etymology would be very simple if not for the fabled Dr. Condom, who used the device in the 1600s to prevent the immune breakdowns and illegitimate offspring of whoremonger-king Charles II.

The Latin is more austere.

Thanks to the efforts of the Goodyear corporation, newly-invented vulcanized rubber — or latex — adorned nineteenth-century wagon wheels and penises. Thence originates the term "rubbers" and the condom's widespread availability. By 1930, condoms were a commodity of mass production.

When we invented the birth control pill and IUD, you could handle most STIs with a healthy dose of antibiotics. You took your pill, you had sex, you took your antibiotics when you got sick. For awhile, condoms got in the way and fell into obscurity.

Antibiotics don't stop AIDS; rubber does. Condoms made an unfortunately-needed comeback in the 1980s.

The last twenty years have seen a technological obsession with the condom. We have not modified the principle of physically stopping semen from entering the cervix — one cannot improve that which is already perfect — but have added bumps and ridges and bulges and textures. We use material that transmits heat more effectively; we have condoms that are loose on the end to prevent fatigue of nerve endings of the glans. We add spermicide and numbing agents to provide backup of a broken device and prolong an erection (respectively). We add flavors and clown faces.

Manufacture

The vast majority of condoms on the market today are made of latex, just like 160 years ago.

Physically, latex is a lot like milk. It curdles and sours when you leave it out. Crude latex tapped from trees is mixed with preservatives, vulcanizers, and stabilizers to keep it fresh. The process is called "compounding." Your average latex condom lasts four years.

After compounding, the latex sits in temperature-controlled vats into which phallic molds, usually made of glass, are dipped, taking a microscopically thin film with them. The latex-coated molds are blown with purified air and dipped again; the resulting film of latex is peeled off mechanically, rolling into the tight ring shape we see in packages.

The rubber rings are then heated in an oven to vulcanize, still attached to the molds. Then they're soaked to loosen them, and sprayed with pressurized water to dislodge them. One is reminded of making caramel apples.

Lambskin condoms are made differently. Tapping sheep intestines does not yield condom-making material. You use the membrane.

Polyurethane condoms are made much like latex condoms.

Condoms are important things. Which is scarier: A condom breaking or a car accident?

All condoms are tested rigorously prior to sale. The litany of tests is impressive, and amusing.

Candidate condoms are stretched around a metal former and shot full of electricity. If their film breaks down they are rejected.

A sample from a batch is pumped full of air until it explodes. On average, this requires 40 liters of air.

The survivors are filled with water and hung upside down for several minutes. After hanging, they are rolled on blotting paper to reveal pores.

Other samples are checked for size and thickness. Some are baked to simulate aging. Some are pulled like ropes between machines to further test breaking strength.

Your condom has been around the block a few times.

Material ins & outs

Latex is not like polyurethane is not like linen is not like sheepskin. Different materials yield different results.

Of course, lambskin is the oldest condom still on the market. But "Lambskin" is really a misnomer: lambskin condoms are the membrane of sheep intestines. Lambskin sounds better than lambgutmembrane. The belly membrane of the lamb contains tiny pores: small enough to stop passing sperm, but not small enough to stop passing HIV. They're pricier than latex because they have a more 'natural' feel. They would — they're made of skin. Not recommended for animal rights activists or those concerned with disease.

Like latex, polyurethane is a plastic product. But it's stronger, thinner, transmits heat more effectively, and is purported to increase sensation. It's also slower to deteriorate than latex. If you're used to rubber, polyurethane will be a bit strange — it offers a looser fit and is somewhat less flexible.

Polyurethane's also the only material to be formed into both the male and female condom. Latex snaps like a rubber band. Try stuffing a balloon closed-end first into your clenched fist sometime.

Obviously, if you're allergic to latex, go with polyurethane.

Care & use

Like I said, condoms are like milk. Even filled with preservatives and stabilizers, they spoil. Keep them in a cool, dark place. Don't stuff them into your wallet — this speeds up deterioration and increases your personal cheese factor exponentially. Keep them out of your glove compartment. Heat destroys latex.

Also, don't use condoms that are brittle or visibly damaged or sticky or of an unusual color.

Don't unroll the condom before applying it. This makes things difficult. Squeeze the air out of the tip. Place the ring on the head of the penis and roll it over the shaft. Leave about a half-inch of space at the tip to collect semen. Otherwise it'll spill out the sides.

Use water-based lube with latex. Oil is destructive. Anything goes for polyurethane or sheepskin.

Once you've finished, pull out while you're still hard, holding the condom by the base to keep it from slipping off or spilling.

Today's condoms are not reusable.

Don't flush them down the toilet. You will save both yourself and your plumber much embarrassment.

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¹ Fallopius' claims are verifiably bullshit. STDs caused by organisms living in the body — like syphilis — cannot be completely stopped by a modern latex condom, let alone a linen sheath.

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Oolong adds that silicon-based lube is also safe with condoms, and won't feed thrush the way water does.

Additonal postscript: Many over-the-counter vaginal yeast medications are oil based, making them dangerous in combination with latex.

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Sources

EPNet Health Library
http://healthlibrary.epnet.com/GetContent.aspx?token=8482e079-8512-47c2-960c-a403c77a5e4c&chunkiid=14502

Advert AIDS Charity
http://www.advert.org/condoms.htm

Cadell, Ava. "The History of the Condom."
http://www.avacadell.com/dr_ava/in_the_media/magazine/historycondom.htm

Go Ask Alice!
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1835.html

Just Rubbers
http://www.justrubbers.com/info/latex_condom.html

Ortho Women's Health
http://www.orthowomenshealth.com/birthcontrol/options/condoms.html

University of Texas
http://www.utexas.edu/courses/bio301d/Topics/Condoms/Text.html

Young Women's Health
http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/malecontraceptives1.html