A chair having one or more dildos installed on it.

This strangely embarassing device features in pornography, usually of the BDSM variety, but I have never seen one in RL.
If one had a thing for classification (and I do), one could probably imagine:

  1. single dildo chair: fitted with a single dildo, or with a butt plug, it can be enjoyed by man, woman and everything in between.
  2. double dildo chair: comes with two dildos, and can be truly appreciated only by women.
Due to human anatomy, the two-dildo variety should probably have at least one dildo mounted on a pivoting base.
This, and the existence of inflatable butt plugs, allows one to imagine all sorts of interesting scenarios with the chair user being locked into the chair ... well chosen clothing could make the situation practically invisible to the outside observer. The possibilities are endless.

A more lightweight solution for the easily embarassed and the lovers of leather is the scrotal leash.

NEWSFLASH: Ikea categorically denies selling dildo chairs, and anyway it was distributed only in Sweden and it was a limited edition and mostly meant as a joke and we cannot sell you one.

Dildo chairs can usually be bought in the electrosex variety for around $1,000. These dildo chairs usually have restraints for the ankles and wrists and can be used with either a vacuum attachment (for the men) or a vibrator attatchment (for the ladies), and of course, a detachable butt-plug. Obviously the chairs vary wildly in features and capabilities but I will describe the more high-end chair I would get an interested girlfriend (perhaps myself) for a gift. This chair does of course exist, but I have seen it only in stores and magazines, never touched.

  • Rubber seating with a nightsoil hole through the bottom for extended use.
  • Detachable buttplugs, dildos, and vacuum attachments of varying sizes.
  • Automatically locking/unlocking restraints with timer. It's always fun to not be able to look at your watch and wonder if the timer is broken. The restraints can also move back and forward.
  • Variable vibration strength, rotation on the vibrator.
  • Adjustable seats. These seats can also operate on a timer and slide closer to the vibrator attachment over time. It can also make lay out into a table if you prefer that sort of position.
  • Feeding tube hole, ironically but appropriately shaped like a penis, suck on it like a straw when you're hungry. It can be used in one of three ways, held in front of the captives head who must move her head forward to get to it, in a falling position where it acts as a gag and the captive just has to hold it in his or her mouth, and if you want to spend an extra few bucks, on a motor that shoves it in and out of the captives mouth on a timer.
  • Tightening belts around the user, three for the table position and one around the waist for the sitting position. An additional belt for the forehead should you so choose. They have to be hooked in and run on a ringer.
  • Twin vacuum attachments for your breasts. (This works on the men too.)
  • Randomise ability, for those times when you just aren't sure what kind of self-bondage session you want to have.


A setup like this, high end, normally runs about $4,995 to $5,500. But we all need ways to relieve our stress I guess.

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