eye contact

Eye Contact

When your eyes linger
on mine for an instant
my reality gets lost again:
winning losing
blue and confusing.

Every day, as I walk along the swept, well-paved pathways of my University's grounds, I meet the eyes of those I pass with an utter confidence I oftentimes do not feel.  The relative veracity of it, however, on any given day, is irrelevant.  I am here to interact with people.  All people--the frat boy with the hemp necklace and sandals, his t-shirt only half tucked in--the pink-clad sorority girl in capri pants and bright, neon green flip-flops--the darkly-swathed theatre (God help you should you spell it "theater") in anti-establishment combat boots--the art student in once gaudy, now paint/clay/dust-covered clothing and sturdy leather shoes--the business grad students in their button-up shirts and ties--all the varied and myriad convolutions of the human animal are what interests me.  I look in their eyes, and I try to peer into their souls.  At the least, there is that flash of energy, the lightning-arc of recognition, the realization on both our parts that I see and am seen.  Each of us passes on, no words being spoken, exultant in the knowledge that someone acknowledges the fact of our existence.  Someone--even if only in our imagination--knows us as we are.  Someone believes.

A teacher of mine named Gulner actually conducted an experiment on his twin boys that relates to this subject.

When feeding his children he and his wife decided that with one child they would look intently into his eyes while talking to him during feeding. With the other son they still spoke to him while feeding him, but they made only brief eye contact and allowed their eyes to wander.

Gulner claims that to this day one son looks people straight in the eye when talking to them, and his other son's eyes tend to flit from place to place only stopping to look into your eyes directly on occasion. I have never met his children, so I can't verify his story, but next time you find yourself about to smack someone because they can't keep their gaze focused on you, remember that it might not be their fault.