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Knowing is half the battle

created by discofever

(idea) by ProKras (4.1 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Tue Feb 27 2001 at 13:50:57

At the end of every episode of GI Joe, the network would play on of the the famous G.I. Joe Public Service Announcements. The best is probably the Electrical Wire In The Road. They would always go something like this:

Kid1: "Hey lets do (something stupid)!"
Kid2: "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
Kid1: "What are you, chicken?"
G.I. Joe Specialist: Something to the effect of "Kid, youre dumb. You almost just killed yourself."
Idiot kid who almost just killed himself: "Thanks. Now I know."
G.I. Joe Soldier: "And knowing is half the battle!"
Logo flashes, G.I. Joe Theme Song: "G.I. Joe!!!"

I'm sure the network required them do do these (very short) little public service announcements at the end of every episode so that the show would have some redeeming value after 30 minutes of nonstop violence, lasers and explosions, where no one but cobra robots were ever hit. (except in the movie, where Duke actually goes into a COMA).

The DVD for the G.I. Joe movie has 25 classic Public service annoucements. I watched them all the other day. Hilarious.

(thing) by enth (4.6 d) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 5 C!s Thu May 24 2001 at 18:30:31

There were twenty-five of these miniature Public Service Announcements actually made, and they were tacked on to the end of each episode seemingly at random. All of them are available on the GI Joe movie DVD.

Here are some of the better quotes, chosen mostly for their ironic hilarity:

At even the hint of a thunderstorm, get right out of the water.
      -Deep Six

Remember, never get in anything that could close up and trap you. In reference to a refrigerator.
      -Recondo

Open and close your legs like a scissor. Keep up a steady rhythm. Now cup your hands downward and move them in a figure eight motion. Never play around water alone.
      -Torpedo

Remember, a firefighter's job is to fight fires- not answer false alarms.
      -Barbeque

Pinch your nose closed and lean forward. If it doesn't stop in 5 minutes, pack your nose with gauze and pinch it closed for ten more minutes. If its still bleeding, then see a doctor. Every seven year old knows right where the gauze is!
      -Footloose

Never take medicine without a grown up present. You could do more harm then good. If you can, wait for your parents. Or if it's serious, ask a neighbor for help.
      -Doc

There's nothing chicken about being smart. If you stop and think there's almost always a better way.
      -Lady Jaye

Well, just don't do what a stranger says. Check it out with an adult you know. Remember, a stranger can mean danger.
      -Wild Bill

A candy bar might give you a quick boost of energy, but after 20 minutes, you'll feel run down. So let's eat smart!
      -Lifeline

Remember, don't play around electric wires or you could be playing with fire. Excuse me?
      -Roadblock

All paints, and especially spray paints, have poisonous gases in 'em. If you breath too much you can get very sick. Always read the label carefully and check for warnings before you start any job.
      -Dialtone

Remember, if your clothes catch on fire, wrap yourself in a rug or blanket and roll on the ground to smother the flames.
      -Spirit


printable version
chaos

knowing is two-sevenths of the battle G.I. Joe Public Service Announcements Why do Americans say "erbs" instead of "herbs"? YVAN EHT NIOJ
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