I am a male so this is not an abuse case.
She lied to me about me and now worst of all she believes her own
lies. Two years later and I still struggle to engage in a normal relationship. I can no longer feel passionate about anything. I
hurt, but it's not abuse!
It started that I sometimes I felt obligated to have sex the way she
wanted, when she wanted though I couldn't say why. But it grew into a non
stop emotional barrage. No one has a mum able to inspire strength to carry
on like I do and it didn't wash with me even as her manipulations grew worse.
I had to endure frequently criticisms and when I suggested a certain male
younger than her was after her I was told off for being foolish. I felt
unable to ask a man who had once been a close friend to move out and felt like a
prisoner in my own home. It was my name on the lease - I had every right
to live there and yet I would come home in terror that the doors would be locked
and the key barrel changed or that'd I find them "at it"... everyday
for five months. I new this younger "man" (man I say hark at me
he's still little more than a boy) was trying to muscle in on my role as dad
I was emotionally afraid of my wife. She would regularly humiliate in
front of family or friends setting me up to look as if I was having a breakdown
under the stain of "our poor relationship" which was my fault
(apparently). She would undermine my very sanity. Yet I knew my suspicions
were true much as I wanted to deny them.
My daughter was not even dead one year and my son was still tiny when the
storm finally broke. She suspected she was pregnant. Logic told
me it could not be mine, that requires sex. All her attempts to force me
to leave by regularly dumping my clothes outside had failed and now the truth
had come out.
They bolted, taking my son with them.
Yet the bitch was only getting warmed up. She toyed back and forth
trying to encourage hope in me that she'd return. Once she came in and
dropped an emotional bomb shell by handing over our son and saying she wasn't a
good enough mother and then crying and weeping and begging me not to take him
away from her then she left with him.
She left me with so many bills I lived on £4 a fortnight at one point paying
them off. But pay them off I damn well did. Funnily no one was
interested in helping the failed husband like they were interested in helping
the grieving dad.
I found out then that:
She then proceeded to use everything she had to get at me for not bending to
her will. I have been denied the right to see my son so regularly that now
as his third birthday approaches I see him every 14 days. She taught him
to call her current boyfriend daddy. She fails to feed my son sufficiently
so that he has been diagnosed with anemia and several other blood
disorders. I have also logged no less than four other distinct signs of
childhood trauma in him.
The boyfriend has left messages on my answer phone threatening to murder me
- oh for the chance, oh that the little shite would just try, I'd love that
so much. He has assailed my family with offensive mail making all
manor of untrue statements aimed only to hurt. His name - her words.
But you see I am male, this is not abuse.
I find out that they smoke drugs around my boy and that he beats him and yet
UK law says he is better off with her because I'm male. They disregard
court orders at whim but that's ok he's with his mother, he's better off with
his mother - Oh Really? I beg to differ.
So it's not any kind of abuse I shouldn't wake up nights or need the odd
day away from all other humans. It's not over yet and no one will care if
Why should I need help to recover from two years of abusive marriage and
two years of abusive follow up. I'm 6'3" a tall strapping lad and
she's tiny. When she says I hit her to get at me who do they
believe? How dare I say that I'm the victim of abuse? Don't I know
there are people with real problems?
Regardless of anything you read or hear the attitude of the world at large
is that a female can never in any way hurt a male.